Ode to My Reduction - Day Nine

On the ninth day of Boob Job

the Good Witch gave to me…

… No more “busty” nicknames …

(Everyone has a nickname or two… Little endearments used by close friends and loved ones to make you feel special… Nicknames are usually a reflection of your personality, and in the case of the overly-busty, that “personality” is always the chest.

Over the years, I’ve inherited a couple of fitting nicknames. One boyfriend dubbed me Nerf Woman because I was, in his words, “soft, round, bouncy, and fun to play with.” I’m still a little uncertain as to what exactly he meant by that, but knowing his particular fascination with my “personalities,” I have a pretty good idea. :-) My own mother labeled me with a name that is still in use today… Bam-Bam. To be fair, she also called my little sister Pebbles… fitting names for both of us at the time…

If you think the nicknames are bad, just try being one of the “lucky” busty girls whose breasts are large enough to be considered separate entities all on their own. My college roommate, herself a favorite client of the Hooter Fairy, lugs around her constant companions… Big Bird and Snuffalupugus. My own “entities” also inherited their very own names… Hercules and Atlas.

I sure hope Hercules and Atlas aren’t too offended when I turn them into Herculess and Atless. :-)

… Eye-contact from men …

… A little bit less cleavage …

… Clear view of my feet …

… NO MORE BACK PAIN!!! …

… No more injuries …

… Many shirts that button …

… Matching bras and panties …

And a small pair of perky boobies!

Ode to My Reduction - Day Eight

On the eighth day of Boob Job

The Good Witch gave to me…

… Eye-contact from men …

(I’ve always said that I would only marry the man who could stare longingly into my eyes for hours on end. This is, perhaps, why I am still single. You see, women with bountiful bosoms generally encounter three types of men:

“The Fidgeter” – These are the guys who know you’re well endowed, but who are terrified to look for fear of being caught. First, they look at their feet. Then they realize you might be offended by that so they make an attempt at eye contact. The second they do, they become very aware that they can’t stop thinking about your chest. They’re certain that you’ll be able to read it in their eyes, so they quickly stare at the wall behind you. They wring they’re hands. They break out into a sweat. Their eyes dart from the wall to the ceiling to your forehead… anywhere but your eyes or your chest… And sadly, these guys are the lesser of the three evils.

Then you have “The Deer-in-the-Headlights Guys” – These are your morally upstanding guys. They absolutely will not offend you by looking at your breasts or by losing eye contact with you for even one millisecond. In fact, they are concentrating so hard on maintaining eye contact that they don’t even allow themselves to blink. Their eyes remain as wide as saucers. Hence, “the Deer-in-the-Headlights” title.

Finally, you have “The Bumbling Fools” – Yes, this term seems to apply to most men in most situations, but for the well-endowed women, the “Bumbling Fools” are the eye-popping, jaw-dropping droolers. They behave like a puppy who’s about to be given a treat. These are the guys who couldn’t remove their eyes from your breasts if you paid them. They go into a kind of hypnotic trance. These guys are completely useless. You’ll get nothing out of them except a “hubba-hubba” and a lot of drool. :-)

… A little bit less cleavage …

… Clear view of my feet …

… NO MORE BACK PAIN!!! …

… No more injuries …

… Many shirts that button …

… Matching bras and panties …

And a small pair of perky boobies!

Ode to My Reduction - Day Seven

On the seventh day of Boob Job

the Good Witch gave to me…

… A little bit less cleavage …

 

 

(You know how women do that thing where they tuck their money in their bras? I tried that once. I thought it would be sexy… And darned if I never saw that $20 again! Forever lost in the great abyss of my cleavage.I tried on a miracle bra once too. I had always been curious to see what the big deal was. Those things were definitely not made for already-busty girls. It “miracled” me clear up to my chin! I could have successfully hidden a small country in there! As it is, I will accidentally drop something down my shirt, and won’t be able to find it again. I’ll have to be sure to tell my surgeon to keep an eye out for my earrings. And who knows… maybe I’ll finally get my $20 back!)

 

… Clear view of my feet …

… NO MORE BACK PAIN!!! …

… No more injuries …

… Many shirts that button …

… Matching bras and panties …

And a small pair of perky boobies!

Ode to My Reduction - Day Six

On the sixth day of Boob Job

the Good Witch gave to me……

Clear view of my feet …

(I can’t remember the last time I was able to look down and actually see my feet. No, I’m not nine months pregnant… I just have big boobs. I’ve mastered tying my shoes by touch, but shaving my legs and painting my toenails require a little more creativity. If someone were to walk in while I was attempting one of those tasks, they would risk seeing me in some rather interesting positions.Now, leg-shaving for anyone requires imagination and flexibility. But try painting your toenails while fighting to see around two large, floppy obstacles. Luckily, my “obstacles” are large enough to tuck firmly under my armpits to get them out of the way.(Now there’s one you don’t hear very often :-)

… NO MORE BACK PAIN!!! …

… No more injuries …

… Many shirts that button …

… Matching bras and panties …

And a small pair of perky boobies!

Ode to My Reduction - Day Five

 

 

On the fifth day of Boob Job
the Good Witch gave to me…

… NO MORE BACK PAIN!!! …

(You try strapping two six pound water balloons to your chest and lugging them around for sixteen years and see how hot you feel! Enough said.)

... No more injuries …
… Many shirts that button …
… Matching bras and panties …
And a small pair of perky boobies!