The Circus Comes to Town...

...and I am staying far, far away!

I feel a little guilty. Children love the circus, and I'm sure my niece and nephew would would be thrilled silly if Aunt Tammy took them. But quite honestly, the circus scares the living crap out of me!

I think my initial hesitation to visit the circus stems from my irrational fear of clowns. I've never been a huge fan of clowns. To be honest, they've always creeped me out a little bit. They wear all of that makeup to cover up their true identities. They play strange games and do weird things. Even as a child, I just didn't get it. But then good old Mr. Stephen King had to go and scare the living CRAP out of grown adults by writing "It," effectively ruining whatever good-natured fun that might have been remaining for the clown-loving community. Small children might still appreciate a good clown or two, but it might traumatize them to see their parents cowering in the fetal position under their chairs or run screaming from the Big Top. Thanks a lot, Mr. King!

 

As if my clown terror alone wasn't enough to keep me away from the circus tents, my fear of falling just adds to it. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me. I am afraid of the sudden stop at the end of the fall. I don't even like to stand on a step stool. It makes me nervous to see other people perched precariously on ladders. So the thought of sitting by helplessly as people walk on a highwire with no safety net or go hurling themselves through the air on the trapeze or doing that crazy "stacking the chairs" thing where they do a handstand at the top... Oh HELL to the no, thank you!!!

Then you've got all of the lions and tigers... Call me crazy, but I have a feeling those animals are pissed. Taking a wild carnivore and making them jump through hoops in front of loud crowds of people... That's just inviting trouble! I wouldn't want to be in that circus tent the day the lions decide they've had enough. Oh, no sir!

In fact, I think the only redeeming quality of the circus is the yummy food. But to be honest, if the twins want cotton candy or roasted peanuts, I'll be more than happy to take them to a baseball game or the State Fair. They have good food there too. ...and you don't have to worry about man-eating animals, a sudden fall to one's death, or psychotic clowns.

Yep, the circus is coming to town... but I am staying far, far away.