The Runaway

"Did you ever run away from home?"

Most children threaten to run away at one point or another. Their parents make them do something they don't want to do, or they don't get a particular toy that they really, really want... I, however, had a different approach. I was smart enough to know that I wouldn't make it very far out there on the streets. As my niece has said, "But who's gonna take care of us?!? We're just little kids, you know!" So when I got really mad at my parents, I locked myself in the bathroom with all of the things that I considered to be necessities to live.

 

Yep... I would make a big deal out of how angry I was by not speaking a word as I moved one item at a time into the bathroom. My pillows. My blanket. A book. A glass of water. A bag of potato chips. The cat. His litter box was in there, so I wanted to make sure he was taken care of. :-) The TV. I wasn't stupid. If I was going to be alone in the bathroom for the rest of my life (or until the toilet paper ran out), I needed something to do! And after I had moved in everything I could possibly think of that would sustain me for life, I walked in and locked the door.

I would settle into my makeshift bed in the bathtub to read, and usually after about 5 minutes or so I'd think of something extremely important that I had forgotten to move into my new home. I knew I couldn't leave though. Not after I had just spent over an hour moving in and having the ceremonial "locking of the door..." I refused to give them the satisfaction. I was way too stubborn for that. What was I going to do?!? Thank goodness for little sisters. "CHRISTY!!! I NEED MY ALARM CLOCK!!!" She, of course, being the dutiful little sister would bring it to the door for me. I would crack it just enough to pull in whatever item she was bringing me (or have her slide it under the door if it was small enough) and lock the door again.

Yep. I showed them! They'd think twice before doing whatever it was that made me angry again! What was it that they did again? Why am I mad? I'm kind of hungry. Man, this is boring. That catbox stinks. This bathtub's hard. My butt hurts. How long has it been? 20 minutes? Yeah... I think that's good. :-)