SOOOO Procrastinating...

 

 

I'm supposed to be writing a 7-page paper describing the four key elements of a working agreement and applying them to a hypothetical situation... So I'm writing a blog post instead.

I've spent today knowing that I have a paper due on Monday, but instead I've done the following:

1. I woke up around 11:30am and took a shower.

2. I watched a show on the 10 Best Beaches in Florida.

3. I got online and searched for those beaches in Florida.

4. I changed my "status" on MySpace.

5. I searched online for my next few tattoos even though I already know what I'm getting.

6. I logged into my class (PROGRESS! :-D )

7. I logged OUT of my class (not as much progress as I thought).

8. I made some of that yummy gourmet popcorn for lunch/dinner.

9. I opened my textbook to find out what the heck this paper was supposed to be about. (PROGRESS! :-D )

10. I sighed, "Well, crap!" and closed the notebook. (not so much progress)

11. I changed my "status" on MySpace again.

12. I went through my online photos and arranged them in chronological order within subcategories.

13. I took another shower. (I had forgotten about the first one at the time, and then wondered why everything was wet.)

14. I watched another travel show on the 10 Best Carribbean Resorts (I want to go to St. John, USVI SO BAD!!!)

15. (I'll bet you think I got online and searched for those resorts, don't you?) Well, I'll never tell!!!

16. I went and made myself a HUGANTOR amaretto sour, and then nearly started to cry because I used the last of my amaretto.

17. I changed my "status" on MySpace, and proceeded to write this blog post.



Now, I realize that I might not have been the most productive member of society today, and I CLEARLY haven't performed at my academic peak, but you have to admit I do know how to procrastinate!

I think I'm going to finish my drink, hit the cheap vodka and fake cranberry juice and try to write a drunk Hypothetical Working Agreement. Now that would be a challenge! Heck, I have enough points in the class to pass anyway. I really don't even have to do the paper if I don't want to!

Maybe I'll go take another shower instead. :-D

Scary Church Ladies

You know it's bad when your college professor has to verbally-chastise grown adults in a public forum. Not just grown adults, mind you... But the self-proclaimed religious, God-fearing adults!!! After my last blog about my class, things got really heated on the message boards... Not as a response to my post... The unyielding Scary Church Ladies (SCL's) didn't bother to respond to me. Apparently I'm just a commoner in the realms of the holy world. But they are now on a Bible-thumping kick on the evils of, well... Everything basically!

These women are SCARY!!! We're all going to hell no matter what we do apparently (except for them, of course... They are servants of the Lord.) I'm beginning to think I'm a freak in the world of Christianity as well as in the human services profession! Call me crazy (most people do), but I always thought that being a Christian meant that you tried to treat everyone with respect whether you agreed with their personal beliefs or not. "Do unto others..." and all that...

Our class has been informed by the leader of the SCL's that our primary job as human services professionals and as Christians (again, a rash generalization that all human services professionals are Christians in the first place) is to spread the Word of God.  Really?  I thought the primary job of a human services professional is to help people!!! Certainly not to beat them over the head with your personal beliefs and tell them they're going to hell for their lifestyles...

Anyway... After we were all told that every word of the Bible should be taken literally and that those who don't will be condemned to eternal hellfire, our professor had to post a message about treating each other with respect regardless of our differing opinions and religious beliefs. She then had to go back and tell the leader of the SCL's to "please review my post on respect" after she said (IN ALL CAPS) that the subject we were discussing was a sin. It is Biblical. We can't change it or wish it away or rationalize it. And anyone who does it is going to hell. Period. "GOD HAS THE FINAL ANSWER! IT IS SIN!!!" She frightens me.

So the SCL's went and pissed me off and I decided to post my honest, yet professional responses to each subject they were preaching about. I got slammed by the SCL's, but I received tons of "THANK YOU's" from the students who are there for a real education in the field. And, I posted the following to their leader...

"I really didn't want to be sucked into a religious debate, but I do feel the need to ask... As a Christian, don't you also believe that Jesus died on the cross to pay for our sins? I think it can be easy to look at the Old Testament and take it very literally, but the New Testament, the life and death of Jesus, shows us that God is also a forgiving God. I think if we are going to judge people for their beliefs and actions, we must also be able to forgive."

I'll keep you all posted and let you know how that one goes over.

I've Been a Bad, Bad Girl...

Yep... I've gone and done it now...

Quite a bit of my schooling is done on message boards... The professor presents a discussion question, and everyone responds with their input and furthers the conversation throughout the week. For those of you who don't know, I'm majoring in Human Services Management. The "helping" profession, for crying out loud! And I swear, this group of people in this class have to be the most judgmental, biased group of individuals who have ever walked the planet!

Source

WHY ON EARTH would someone ever enter into this field when they have such strong negative opinions about everyone different from them?!? One of the discussion questions this week was, "Would you ever agree to work with a sexual deviant?" Out of 20 people, only three of us said that we'd be willing to try! Most of these women were like, "Oh HELLLLLL NO! They should be be strung up and publically flogged and castrated and killed!" (Which I don't entirely disagree with, but it's not my place to do that. Personally, I think if there is even a chance that rehabilitation could work, we should at least try. These people are going to be out there regardless of whether or not we try to rehabilitate them. I'd rather know that someone was trying, rather than just letting them loose and hoping for the best.) Half of these chicks went on to talk about all of the immigrants needing to go back to their own countries (apparently all sexual deviants are immigrants in their minds), about abusive mothers (apparently they are all prostitutes), and about "those alternative lifestyle people". These conversations carried on all week. And tonight, I'd had enough! I decided to stir the pot a little bit and say something about it. Bad, Tammy!

I just said that I was curious to see what everyone's opinion was on the importance of tolerance and acceptance in the human services field. I told them that I've always felt that people choosing to enter this field should be more tolerant of alternative lifestyles, cultural, religious, economic, ethnic differences, etc. in order to provide unbiased, non-judgmental, unconditional positive regard. I asked if it is even possible to do an effective job of counseling someone if you've gone into the session already condemning the client for their lifestyles, beliefs, or even their past crimes? I asked, if you refer all of your clients to other counselors because you don't think you could work with them, why go into this field in the first place? Then I said that I might be wrong, but I've always thought that people who have chosen to spend their lives in a "helping" profession would naturally be more accepting than society as a whole. And THEN... Bad, Tammy! I said that I was really surprised, and rather disappointed by most of the responses I'd seen up to this point, and really hoped someone could clarify their opinions for me because I just didn't understand how someone in this field could be that unmoving in their opinions. I can't wait to see what everyone has to say about that!!!

I'm SOOO bad! I can't wait to see what all of those chick-a-dees have to say for themselves!

My New Mission

During my quest toward self-actualization and journey to find happiness again, I've decided to make it my mission to start blogging regularly. It might be serious. It might be Jack Handey-type "Deep Thoughts." Maybe something that I found that made me laugh or something that I'm thankful for. Today, I have decided to present you with my Positive Thought for the Day.

I was sitting here at work, opening the first massive stack of mail that we get every Monday, and it suddenly dawned on me.

MY STAPLER ROCKS!!!

You might think this is not something to be overly-excited about. You might think I forgot to take my meds this morning, but you'd be wrong. I JUST LOVE MY STAPLER!!! (:-D) It is a Swingline, rechargeable, battery operated, electric stapler that handles up to 20 sheets of paper at a time! ...and it only took me 5 years to convince my boss that I was worth the $40 it would cost to get me one.

You see, I go through about 500 staples a day, and using the big heavy manual stapler was just not hacking it. Now that I think about it, I think the only reason that my boss agreed to buy me the electric stapler was that I was beginning to show the early symptoms of carpal tunal syndrome, and he just didn't want to have to do my job if I had to be out for another surgery. But hey! Whatever works, right?

So today, I salute you, Mr. Swingline, rechargeable, battery-operated, electric stapler! You are truly a blessing in my life.

I Survived...

Well, I survived my first visit with the loony doctor. I was fine all morning, and did really well for the first 10 minutes or so. No anxiety attacks, no hysterical crying...

We talk about my hysterectomy. We talk about my family history. We talk about my issues with food. We talk about things that I've done during my "manic" periods. I did REALLY well until he asked me, "How do you see your life in the future?" Not a hard question... But I LOST IT! I know how I want my life to be, but I basically see myself alone and miserable for the rest of my life. I started bawling like a baby.

Source

Then he asks me, "Do you feel like life is worth living?" (DO YOU NOT SEE ME BAWLING HERE?!?) I take his question to mean, "Are you suicidal?" and my answer was, "Well, I'm not suicidal or anything." But he says, "That's not what I asked." I'd never thought about that before. I sat there for a minute and realized that it really just depended on whether I was on an high or not. When I'm on a high, I think I change the world with my smile and scathing wit. I can do anything I want. But most days, I kind of feel like "what's the point?" I eat, I sleep, I pay bills. Whoop-dee-do!

After going over a rundown of all of my history, he said I definitely sound like I have bipolar tendencies. Definitely severe depression and anxiety issues. He's changing my medications all up. He wants to get me on a broader range of medications to try to help with the depression, anxiety, mood swings, and my manic episodes. He wants to concentrate on the depression and anxiety first because that seems to be giving me the most problems right now. And lucky me! I get to start seeing him once a week until we get the medications regulated.

He also said that he's changing things up from what I'm already on quite a bit, so there's really no telling how I'm going to react until I've been on them for a couple of weeks. If I'm more loony than usual, just tell me so I can tell him. And THEN (lucky me again!), he's going to see about getting me on a mood stabilizer if I keep having the manic episodes. Hopefully I won't need it. But heck, I'll take ANYTHING if I start feeling like a real person again!

So... I braved the unknown. I bawled in front of someone and the world didn't come to an end. Then I came back to work and made Delma cry because I was still weepy. I'm sure they all appreciated that. But at least now I know that I can talk to a shrink and it won't kill me.