Reader Request... Help for RADlet?

I just received the following email from a fellow foster momma at her wit's end, and wanted to get feedback and advice for her from those of you experienced with therapeutic parenting techniques and in dealing with young children with RAD.

I have a 3-year-old RADlet.  I was told they were going home today, but the judge said otherwise.  We could have them only another week or so, but the SW seems to thing they will be here for many more months.

I have NO IDEA what I am doing with him.  Nothing I'm doing is working and things are only getting worse.  The SWs either don't believe me that things are as bad as they are, or don't want to have to deal with it.  So I'm on my own here.  There is no one that will take him as a client being so young, so I have no help there either.

 What I need is to either connect with another momma that is dealking with a child with RAD, or even just some really good books that can teach me more effective ways to deal with him.  I won't disrupt the placement, but I also can't spend every of his waking minute pissed off or upset at something else he has done.  It's  gotten to the point that I feel I am failing his brother (the one he takes out his aggression and rages on).  I can't ever let them be alone together.  It's really hard when I'm alone with them most of the day and also have a 5-month-old to take care of.

I know this momma would appreciate any and all resources, support, and advice she can get right now, so please chime in with whatever you have!  :-)

Thanks so much, ladies!!!

Giveaway Winners!!!

Thank you to everyone who entered Trippin's "Foster Favorites" Giveaway!

Between FB and blog comments, we had 18 entrants!

Congratulations to Our First Three Winners:

Phoenix said...

I don't have a lot of favorite anythings yet. (Other than my favorite blogs, that is.)

We don't really have to do/keep a lot of paperwork. I have binders for each kid that pretty much sit empty. But I LOVE books, so reading about "favorite" books is always something I love. Thanks Tammy and crew for another good post!

 theheartofamama said...

My absolute favorites are my Ladybug, Lovebug, Doodlebug, and Buggie - all sibs (from a group of 11) that came to me at different times and in different circumstances. As each joined our family, my organization methods changed, my housekeeping changed, my sleep patterns changed, and I changed, but I wouldn't go back for anything in the world! Adoptions should be final on the first 3 in the coming weeks, with Buggie following up in the Spring. I can't imagine my life without them! But I do wonder how things will change when their newest sib makes his/her appearance in the Spring.....

Carrie said...

Foster care blogs and forums have been something I couldn't do without. Just to know that there are people out there that understand-ahh!

Also, my favorite time of day? Naptime ;)

Winners may check out the Giveaway Post for a complete list of prizes to choose from!  Simply email me at I_MustBeTrippin@hotmail.com with your selection.

Congratulations!!!

(Stay tuned for further details on potential additional entries/winners.)

Secret Info, Decisions, and a Crossroad...

Big changes are a comin' in my personal Foster/Adopt Land over the next several weeks.  Earlier this month, my agency director (formerly "New Girl," now known about the agency as "The Anal-Retentive Paperwork Nazi") sent out an email that one of our Case Managers had resigned.  I immediately went into panic mode praying that it wasn't Nice Lady because we only have two CMs at the agency.  Fortunately, it turned out to be our newest CM (who is also super-sweet, but Nice Lady has been the best foster care professional I've ever worked with, so I couldn't lose her!).  Thank goodness!  I was completely relieved, and all was well with my world until the following Monday morning when Nice Lady came by the house to do my Quarterly Inspection.

I could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't going to be sharing good news, and my fears were confirmed when she told me, "Well, I just put in my notice."  The first words out of my mouth were, "So where are we going?"

I feel bad because apparently New Girl and the Agency Owner are fuh-reak-ing out.  They are just certain that there will be a mass exodus of foster parents from the agency (and rightfully so).  During the hour and a half long visit with Nice Lady, I learned that New Girl has taken it upon herself to require all foster parents to submit yet another required monthly piece of paperwork.  I'm all for documentation, but this is out of hand!  We are now required to submit:

• Weekly Progress Reports for each child in the home (regardless of age)
• Monthly Recreation Logs for each child in the home (regardless of age)
• Monthly Medication Logs for prescription meds for each child (whether they take them or not)
• Monthly Medication Logs for over the counter meds for each child (whether they take them or not)
• Monthly List of Visitors in the Home Over the Age of 14 along with background check information for anyone over 14 who enters more than one time in the month! (that's the newest little diddy)
• Quarterly Extermination Reports
• Quarterly Carseat Logs listing all carseat/booster seat information
• Quarterly Fire Drill Documentation/Results

And that is just what we are supposed to keep up with on a regular basis!  It doesn't include all of the necessary forms for doctor/dentist/therapist appointments or occasional "Incident Reports" for injuries or other problems.  But I think the thing that really put me over the edge and solidified my decision to move to the agency that Nice Lady (and I later found out that our Newest CM) is going to was when Nice Lady told me that New Girl still wants me to submit half of this paperwork even though I don't have a placement!

Since finding out that Nice Lady was leaving, I've kept pretty quiet.  She was told that she wasn't supposed to announce it (except on a one on one basis if necessary), and they apparently aren't going to announce her departure to the foster parents because of their "everyone will leave us" fear.  I talk to Nice Lady quite often, so I know all of the ridiculous behind the scenes stuff that is happening right now, and we are all contemplating our next moves.  

I knew from the second that she told me she was leaving that I would be following.  I'd even told New Girl and the Agency Owner that very thing about six months ago when they insisted all foster parents complete additional written evaluations of the Case Managers.  They have to know what's coming, but New Girl is certainly trying her hardest to bribe me into staying before I put in my transfer request.  

I got a late night phone call from her the other night that I completely avoided because I knew what was coming.  Yep.  Checked the message, and it was for a 4-month-old baby girl...  Emergency placement...  If I said "yes" she'd be coming that night.  I didn't return her call.  The thought of having to do all of that paperwork again and being saddled into staying with the agency when I knew I would be miserable just didn't sit well with me.  So no baby girl (my dream placement right now!) for Mimi.

I called Nice Lady the next day to tell her what had happened, and she said that New Girl has been going placement crazy trying to get homes filled in order to try to keep everyone there.  I did find out that even if I do get a new placement before I transfer, any kiddos in my home will be transferred with me, so that's good to know!  If I get another call before my agency finds out that I'm leaving, I'll take it!

In the meantime, I've been in contact with what is going to be my new agency (just got off the phone with the owner about 30 seconds ago actually :-).  Nice Lady has worked closely with them in the past and has nothing but good things to say, so that makes me feel better.  She's told them all about me too, and they know that I chose them because of her, so it's already written in stone that she will continue to be my Case Manager at the new agency.  :-)  They'll be coming out to the house on Friday the 2nd... And get this...  IN THE EVENING so I don't have to miss work!!!  I am in love already.

I'm in the process of filling out all of the initial applications and agency transfer forms.  They won't send anything to my current agency until after the 2nd so if I do get a call between now and then, my agency won't have a clue.  Sneaky?  Maybe.  Do I feel bad?  Not so much!  They're being just as sneaky by not telling me that Nice Lady resigned.  Two can play at this game!  :-)

So...  The massive piles of initial applications and paperwork required to change agencies has begun, but I've been assured that the new agency's "regular" required paperwork is no where near as completely ridiculously overwhelming as my current agency's nightmare.  I've got the checklist going of everything that I need to send over there, and busted out the highlighters for my own personal OCD pleasure.  Definitely excited for a change!  (But not too much of a change because I get to keep Nice Lady (and even Newest CM! :-).

Wish me luck!

*** And if you happen to be in contact with my current agency, mum's the word!  You don't know nothin'! ;-) ***

"Foster Favorites" Giveaway!!!

 

As promised in yesterday's "Foster Friday" panel post, it's time for a Giveaway!!!

 

Who doesn't like free stuff, right?!?

 

This giveaway is inspired entirely by our "Foster Friday" panel members' personal "Foster Favorites, and will have at least three winners (possibly more!).

 

 

 

To Enter:

 

1.  Read yesterday's "Foster Friday" Panel Post entitled "Foster Favorites" to see what fostering items, supplies, books, blogs, videos, moments, services, etc. that our panel members absolutely love.

 

2.  Leave a comment on that post, this giveaway announcement, or on Trippin's FB page sharing what foster care favorites you personally have.  Not a foster parent?  No worries!  Just leave a comment about something that struck you as interesting or unexpected about any of our panel members' "favorites" to enter!

 

3.  All comments must be received by 12:00am CST on Thursday, October 25th, 2012.

 

4. Initial 3 winners will be announced on Friday, October 26th!

 

Simple as that!

 

 

 

 

 

Prizes to Choose From:

1)  Based on one of Heather's picks, an Expandable Pocket File Folder with elastic tie similar to this one.  Choose this prize, and I will send you a list of style and color options.

 

2)  Also Based on one of Heather's picks, a large 22" x 17" Monthly Desk Calendar.  Choose this prize, and I will send you several styles to choose from.

 

3)  Choose one of the following books based off of Debbie's favorite foster/adopt children's books:

• "A Family for Eve" by Kristan Keefe Struck
• "Rosie's Family: Adoption Story" by Lori Rosove
• "Beginnings: How Families Come to Be" by Virginia Kroll
• "Maybe Days" by Jennifer Wilgocki and Marcia Kahn Wright
• "My Adopted Child, There's No One Like You" by Dr. Kevin Leman and Kevin Leman II

4)  Based off of MamaP's reading list...  "Kids Need to Be Safe: A Book for Children in Foster Care (Kids Are Important) by Julie Nelson

 

5)  Inspired by Andrea's self-professed status as an "office supply junkie" and Cherub Mamma's awesome binder organization system, you may choose a $15 gift card to the office supply store of your choice!

6)  Also inspired by one of Andrea's "favorites," a $15 gift card to Walmart, Target, or any store that sells cleaning, food, or bathing supplies.  ;-)  Her comment about her "favorite" things to do after receiving "the call" cracked me up because I do the same thing!  Clean, shower, and cook!

 

7)  Inspired by Mie's "goodbye family portraits" and a recent scrapbook made for her son's school project, choose a $15 Electronic Gift Certificate to www.scrapbook.com or the craft supply vendor of your choice.

8)  Based of my personal love of photographs, photo books, and photo gifts, you may select a $15 gift certificate to www.snapfish.com or to any other online photo store of your choice.

9)  Choose to receive my personal choice of daily planner, the 2013 Mom's Weekly Planner (18 Month Calendar).  (Several designs to choose from)

10)  And because all of our favorite moments involve spending quality time with our families, choose a $15 gift card to the family-friendly restaurant, movie theater, amusement park, etc. of your choice (provided they offer gift certificates and I can easily purchase it! :-).



Lots of great prizes to choose from!

At least three winners...  Probably more!

Can't wait to read your comments and see what you choose as your personal "foster favorites!" 

 

 

 

"Foster Friday" Panel - Foster Favorites

Anyone who has fostered for any amount of time tends to discover their "foster favorites."  Books, people, moments, items, and other resources that we just can't imagine our lives without (or that we actually do remember our lives without and are eternally thankful that we discovered them :-)...

For this week's "Foster Friday," our panel has compiled their own lists of "favorites."

*** Pay close attention, and check back on the blog tomorrow as I announce "Trippin's" latest Giveaway consisting of items inspired by our panel's favorites! ***

Heather ("Us")

My favorites:

*A strong support group.

*At least one person that will still love you when you say "I don't like my children right now."

*A big "desk calendar" to put on your wall or fridge,that way anyone can tell what is on the agenda for the day. I also save my pages so I can look back if I need to.

*Car seats that go 5-100 pounds and are easily adjusted. These have changed my life!

*A comfy chair that rocks. I have found a lot of our kids crave the rocking motion, it also make for perfect cuddle times.

Order This Here

*A closeable expandable file "thinger" like this. I have found I prefer ones that tie or use an elastic because the snaps break too quickly for my liking. I have one for each placement that stays in the car or diaper bag with all the papers I always need, health visit report forms, medicaid forms, caseworker info, all those MOUNDS of paper we need to present at a moments notice.

My favorite moments are when you hear that first REAL laugh and when the twinkle comes back in their eyes, it is what really keeps me going moment after moment.

 

 

 

 

Debbie ("Always and Forever Family")

 

I received a new book recently called "A Family for Eve."  My 4 year old and I sat right down to read it.  It was a little bit too long for her (she got a little antsy towards the end) but as soon as I was done she asked to read it again.  And a few minutes later she said we could read it every day.  So it was a hit with my 4 year old.

Like many kids' adoption books there is a point where my eyes started to fill with tears.  For me it was this line;

Cleo felt it happen.  Her heart grew bigger once more and she knew that she wanted to be the chick's mommy from that moment on.

Cleo is the cat and she has two biological kitties and has adopted another kitty, bunny and a duck.  I love how it mentions her heart growing bigger because that's what I've been trying to tell my daughter.  That when a new child comes our hearts grow to make more room.

After Eve, the chick, sees another member of the farm, the goat, pregnant she starts to ask questions. And her mom answers her questions and shares the poem she wrote especially for Eve.  Sweet poem that ends with;

There's room in your heart for all kinds of love, even your birth mother you may never know.

We have an open adoption with her birth mother so I asked her if she knew her birth mother.  She said yes but got shy when I asked who.  But it was a very easy way to just start talking about her birth mom.  It also says that it's okay to miss her birthmom and even cry.  I think that's really important right now with my daughter's understanding of her story.  We need to let her know that it's okay to be sad and miss her if she does.  And that it's okay for her to tell us that.

And now that we are fostering with the hopes of adopting this book will be perfect to read to our next child as well.  I have a feeling we will read this book often.  Seems like it will be a good one to have conversations with.

A couple of my other favorite adoption books for kids are:

Rosie's Family: Adoption Story LINK
Beginnings: How Families Come to Be LINK
Maybe Days (great for explaining foster care to kids) LINK
My Adopted Child, There's No One Like You LINK 

 

MamaP ("Fostering Love - A Foster Family Story")

One Day, MamaP WILL Send Me a Pic!

This topic was hard for me to write!  I love everything about foster care, even the drama that is brought upon our families by DHS.   Besides being a loon, this is because I believe in the Bible, and the Bible tells us to count our sufferings as a joy (Romans 5:3) because it builds perseverance.   If a foster family doesn't have perseverance, then no one does.

My *very* favorite foster care moment was the day we celebrated our very first foster son's first birthday at his home where he had been returned his biological family.  He was with us from six weeks until he was just about seven months old.  We worked very closely with his biological father to reunite this family that had been broken by some poor choices of the biological mother.   On the day that we showed up at his family's door and were welcomed with hugs and love as part of their family, I looked around and was blessed to have our first foster care placement be the one example of exactly how foster care should be between biological and foster families.   The dwelling was beyond unacceptable for my own standards, the clothing "our" baby was wearing is something I'd have never chosen, and the food was... well... typical Southern unhealthy fare (AKA Koolaid in a bottle).   There may or may not have been a roach I had to pretend like I did not see as I squashed it with my foot.

Then it dawned on me.  They laid out their very best for us.  They trusted us to open their home to.  They welcomed us as well-loved members of their family and felt comfortable enough to treat us as such.  There was no air of uncomfortable.  There were no awkward silences.  There were no judgemental glances from either party.   The only thing in that moment was a mutual love for one very special little baby boy whose first year had been uncertain and hard on all involved.

One more favorite of mine is a book.  I picked it up at a foster care conference I attended, and I love reading it to the kids.  It has also been very useful in explaining foster care to our friends' children who frequently visit our home!

"Kids Need to Be Safe" by Julie Nelson

It is geared toward very young children and speaks in brief, unelaborate terms.

I wish I could say I had a favorite foster care "organization" tool, but in *OurState* we are not required to keep any paperwork or log books or anything.  It is very sad for our children that no one cares to have basic standards of documentation, but at the same time it makes this ADD-unorganized mama's life very easy.  I have impressed our workers with the few documentations I do make when I pick them up from the wonderful blogs I read!  I definitely would not be able to maintain the organization that Tammy does.

 

Melissa ("Fostering Love") -

Foster care is often referred to as a “roller coaster.”  Oh can it be!  The tough times tend to get vented and documented on a lot of blogs (including mine!) but then….OH THEN…there are those moments when you know it was ALL worth it!  These times have happened for me in different ways.  A few examples would be when a child that has not slept through the night because of sheer terror and what is happening to them FINALLY sleeps through the night feeling secure where s/he is.  Another time for me was when I did respite for a 2 yo girl.  She had difficulty with bonding/connecting with her foster mother.  I had her for 5 days and her foster mom was sure that “C” would care less when she returned.  Much to her surprise “C” jumped into her arms and yelled “mama!”  It was the sweetest thing!  It’s also when we get those rare “thank you’s” from birthparents where they recognize you are doing this for their child.

By far my favorite moment of foster parenting is when you realize that never again will you have to say goodbye!  As much as we try to guard our hearts as foster parents there is no holding back when you have a child for as long as we did/do (over 2 years).  Our Michael was with us for 2 years and 3 months before his adoption was final.  That moment when I realized that I never would have to say goodbye again or worry about the next court hearing was an indescribable feeling!  The next morning when he called me “mama” my heart sang!

We have not yet had a reunification situation, but I imagine that when the parents do what they need to do to be great parents and work hard to get their child back that would be a great feeling too.  We have had 4 placement s in 3 years.  1 has joined our family forever and another is headed that way!  Our hearts are full of love for our children and that by far is the best “high” of foster care!

Andrea ("Live With Laughter") -

Favorites.

My favorite physical item for foster care is my leather 2 inch binder.  I have tabbed sections for each child, making it easy to flip from section to section.  Each child gets tabs for their medical papers, their doctors' notes, their court papers, and their foster care agreement.  It has pockets and a page to keep business cards.  I was given this binder at a foster care appreciation dinner.  Some people laughed, but as an office supply junkie, I love this binder!!!

My favorite support system is Facebook!  Wow, all the moms I've met in my groups are amazing.  While my real life support network is, well, supportive, they don't always understand or have advice.  Having a network of people that understand our vocabulary, situations, and frustrations, it's the best!

My favorite thing to do after "the call..."  I'm not sure this is a favorite, but I've done it every time.  I speed clean.  I fold the laundry pile.  I throw dinner on.  And the strangest, I feel the need to shower.  As if I will never shower again.  I don't know why.

A favorite that I don't have that I wish I did.  A freezer full of meals.  Oh, how nice it would be that first week or two to not have to worry about dinner while I'm getting used to a newborn or a crabby two year old.

My favorite foster care moment is equally terrifying and just the best news I've ever gotten.  After raising M from 35 days old to one day shy of his first birthday, we said goodbye.  We said hello to Carleigh just one week BEFORE M left.  When I called to check on M's status, our social worker asked if he could come back to our home.  I was initially horrified, what had gone wrong, was he okay, for how long, can he stay, 5 kids, 5 kids, I can't say goodbye again.  While these thoughts ran into my head at warp speed, I said yes.  And now we're weeks from adoption.  So that is my favorite moment for now.  My favorite moment for always will be the day those papers are in my hot little hands and M will be my son forever.  (not to mention I will blow up Facebook with photos of his adorable face!)

Cherub Mamma ("Cherub Mamma") -

Cherub Mamma has a houseful of out of state family this week, but she has written a few posts in the past about some of her personal foster care favorites, and was kind enough to allow me share them with you here as well.

* 3-ring Binders - Cherub Mamma wrote a fantastic description of her binder system and organization method that I shared with you before, but I know that this is also one of the things that Cherub Mamma couldn't live without.  Her area of her state is extremely strict when it comes to documentation and minimum standards, and I know her binders tend to become additional "limbs," and are especially helpful when she has special needs placements with tons and tons of medical conditions and appointments.

Find This Here

* Vaultz Locking Letter/Legal File Chest - Another of Cherub Mamma's "favorites" are her locking storage boxes.  Her area is very strict about keeping everything potentially hazardous under lock and key (or double combination as the case is here!).  These storage boxes are the perfect size for cleaning supplies and other larger items.  She wrote about them here.


* Christine Moers, author of the blog "Welcome to My Brain" - Cherub Mamma (along with many of my foster/adopt parent friends of children from hard places) has always highly recommended Christine's blog and videos on therapeutic parenting.  She wrote a great post earlier this year talking about some of her favorite "Christine" techniques and links to some of her favorite "Christine" videos.  Great stuff!!



 

Mie ("Letting Go of Mie") -

 

Foster care gets a (much deserved) bad rap. There are so many things that can absolutely suck, like having to double-lock the medicines so the kids don't get into something they're not supposed to or not being able to have a trampoline in our backyard for our kids to play on. But it's worth it for so many reasons. The great things FAR outweigh the problems (most days). 
 

One of the hardest things about foster care - we have to be ready to change our family routines on a moments notice and usually no one in the system really cares. It's what we signed up for I guess - that's what some people say. In all honesty though, this is the source of my favorite thing about foster care. 
 

My family has taken so many shapes. As a mom, I've had the chance to raise 14 kiddos, at least temporarily. I've had boys, girls, babies, toddlers, and preschoolers of both genders. I've had "twin" sister toddlers, boy girl twin babies, twin girl toddlers and twin boy preschoolers, and plenty of stair-step combinations most recently 0, 2, 3, 4, and 5, one of my ultimate dreams (yes, I'm crazy).
 

You see, in normal parenting situations, you usually get what you get. When you're pregnant you get the chance to be excited about what "could be" for however long you wait to see what you're having. Then, that's it. That's what you get. In our world we get a (much) shorter time to be excited, while we're waiting for a call and then waiting for the kiddo(s) to arrive, but it's enough to wonder and enjoy the excitement. While the normal parent does that 1, 2, 3 or in "large" families 4-6 times, we've done it 14 times and with it brought at least as many sibling group combinations.
 

For a mom who as a girl could never imagine my last pregnancy, the endless possibilities of what my family will "look" like really is one of my favorite things about foster care. We recently made a scrapbook for my son for a school project and included a section for our family. I loved going through all of our "goodbye family portraits" - the picture of our family taken right before a child left - and reminiscing about all of our families. Its an experience that not many get to have in their lives and we're definitely blessed with the experience. 

 

 

 

aka. Mimi -

When I think of all of my "favorite" foster care things, so many come to mind!  After four years, I have a good list of "must haves" and resources.

• Snapfish.com - It might sound crazy, but I use Snapfish at least once a month when I have a placement.  It's a great place to upload and organize photos.  Inexpensive prints and lots of good photo gifts.  I always make it a point to send monthly prints to my kiddos' parents as well as try to send photo books with all of their children's milestones and fun moments.  I'm a little frustrated because I used to get free prints and photo books by using MyCokeRewards, but they recently stopped partnering with each other, and now my "freebies" will have to come from Shutterfly.  Hopefully I'm just as happy with them as I am with Snapfish.

Buy It Here

• Mom's Weekly Planner (18-Month Calendar) from Peter Pauper Press - I can not even tell you how much I love this planner.  Actually, I can...  and I have!  More than once.  :-)  I also bought one for my sister last Christmas, and as the mother of two sets of twins (ages 7 years and18 months), she has this thing jam-packed with information and loves it just as much as I do.

• My Online Bloggy/Facebook Foster Mom Friends - I have no idea what I would do without all of you ladies!  I have "met" and developed friendships with so many of you, and really am thankful for each and every one of you.  It's so nice to have a core network of women who completely understand the emotional roller coaster of foster care and who can offer practical advice and support because they've "been there" themselves.

• Local Organizations That Support Foster Children/Families - Over the past four years, I have learned about multiple non-profit and volunteer organizations that specifically help support local foster children and their foster families.  I can't post the specific ones that I use here because they would narrow down my location too specifically, but they are out there!  Organizations that provide winter coats and shoes...  One that provides Christmas gifts and books...  One that helps with initial placement "emergency" items like diapers...  One that helps with the costs of summer camps... etc.  Ask your children's CASA, caseworker, or agency.  Search specifically for "organizations for foster children in *** County."  You might be surprised what all you can find!

• Children's Consignment Stores - I don't know how I could afford to provide multiple children with complete wardrobes several times a year without my local children's consignment stores!  Always make sure you get on their mailing lists and use their frequent shopper cards if they have them.  Several of my local stores also offer discounts for foster parents!  It never hurts to ask!  My "big shopping sprees" usually occur when my stores have their huge "Grab Bag Sales."  All of the clearance clothing that you can fit into a bag for $10 or $15!  It works great for foster parents because we aren't totally limited to genders, sizes, etc.  I sift through all of the racks for clothing with the original tags still on them, and usually get out of the sales with about $250 worth of clothing for $30!

But, of course, my absolute favorites have to be the amazing moments and the awesome family that I have only because I chose to foster.  Not every person can say that their "core" family consists of blood relatives, current and former foster children, their foster children's blood relatives, their foster children's step mom, and their foster children's step mom's extended family!  I love how my honorary family embraces and loves each of my foster and even short term respite children from the moment they come through my door.  I love that my honorary daughters call my foster children their "brothers" or "sisters" and that Booger, Banana, Monkey, and my nieces and nephews consider themselves "cousins."  I love that I have a "son-in-law" in Booger and Banana's daddy.  I love that my parents, sister, nieces, nephews, grandma, and some of my extended family love my kids (almost) as much as I do.  ;-)  

For me, there is nothing better than experiencing the love that foster care has brought into my life in ways that I never could have imagined.  In short.  It's my personal "favorite!"  :-)

What are yours?