"Real"

With the finalization of Bug's adoption this past week, I have heard the comment "Oh!  Now you get to be a real mom!" more times that I can count.  I understand where people are coming from, and I try not to take offense.  But every time I hear that statement, I can't help but think of my oldest son.  My three year old little Monkey who has never known another mother except me...

I think of the little boy who stirred from a deep sleep when I leaned in to give him one last goodnight kiss last night and he gently touched my cheek and whispered, "I love you, Mom" before falling back into his dreams.

I think of the little boy who repeats praises and lessons I have taught him to his little brother, Bug.  "I love you, Baby Bug.  I so very proud of you!"  "You needs to listen to yous Mom and Dad and Nana and Papa.  They keep Monkey and Bug safe!"  "What's the matter, Baby Bug?  It's okay.  Mommy be right back!"

I think of the little boy who eagerly waits for me to get home for lunch and constantly tells my mom how much he loves me.  "I really love Mommy."  Mommy's a really good Mommy."  "Mommy teach me to have good manners."  "Mommy a very smart lady." "I really love Mommy."  "Mommy coming home real soon!"

I think of the little boy who runs to me for random hugs and to kiss his "owies."

I think of the little boy who wants to sleep in Mommy's bed when he's sick.  "Mommy sorry about your icky coughs.  It's okay.  I sleep in your bed, Mommy?"

I think of the little boy who wants to "sing some songs" before bed every night and who always requests "Jesus Loves Me" and "the red and blue and purple and green and orange and yellow song" (aka. "Jesus Loves the Little Children") because "Mommy teached me songs about Jesus."

I think of the little boy who has spent more time in my arms than in anyone else's, and I know that is exactly where he belongs.

I may never be Monkey's "legal" mother, but I challenge anyone to look at my son and tell him that I'm not his "real" mom.

Full Circle

Four years ago, I stood in a courtroom desperately trying to hold back the tears that were streaming down my cheeks.  I had just learned that my baby boy, the little guy that I had loved as my own for the past year, simply wasn't coming home.  No transition.  No goodbye.  It was just over.

If you had asked me four years ago where I thought I would be today, I can guarantee it wouldn't have been here.  Today, four years after my world was turned upside down, I stood in a courtroom and allowed the tears to fall.  Today, my tears weren't tears of sorrow or despair.  Today, my tears were tears of joy.  Today, my world was turned right-side up again as I became the legal forever mother of another amazing little boy.

Welcome to the family,

My Little Bug!

I sure hope you like me...

'Cause you're not going anywhere!  :-)

Just Sayin'...

This time tomorrow, a little Bug will

OFFICIALLY

be ALL MINE!!!

:-)