Forever...

Yesterday, Momma over at "Called to Foster" posted something that I think puts into words what is in every foster mother's heart.  With permission, I wanted to share it here too.

Forever - Posted on October 20, 2011 by Momma

I may not be present in the days to come, but I will forever cherish the time we shared together!

I may not be with you for bedtime prayers, but I will forever be praying for you!

I may not be able to hold you in my arms, but I will forever hold you in my heart!

I may not be close enough to tell you, but I will forever love you!

I may not be your ‘forever mom’, but you will forever be my child!

*** If you are a foster parent, and haven't yet discovered "Called to Foster," definitely go check her out.  Honest, encouraging, and very informative...

"The Gift of Life"

The Gift of Life

I didn't give you the gift of life,

But in my heart I know

The love I feel is deep and real,

As if it has been so.

For us to have each other

is like a dream come true!

No, I didn't give you

The Gift of Life,

Life gave me the gift of you.

-Author Unknown

My Butterflies...

I found this quote several years ago when I was at my lowest of emotional lows...

It came and hit me over the head because it was so true, and when I finally made the decision to stop "chasing happiness," happiness found me!

I think of my kids as my "butterflies..."

Going into my second Christmas in Foster/Adopt Land, I've tried to find a special way to remember each of my kids, whether they are in my arms or in my heart at the time.  So each year, I track down butterfly ornaments to add to my Christmas tree.  Something I can look at and remember each child who came into my life over the years.

Christmas number two in my foster/adopt journey, and I have five beautiful butterflies adorning my tree (hopefully there will be a sixth one before Christmas gets here).

My Immobile Munchkin (with me for one week before moving to the best family she and her big sister could have found before they were reunited with their mom almost a year and a half later)...

Angel (lived with me for almost 7 months) and the Booger Bear (my little boy for 10 great months before he went home to his daddy.  I am totally blessed that I still get to love on and spoil him from time to time too! :-)...

Little Miss (my sweet girl for a little over a month) and Itty Bitty (with me for just a couple of days before they were reunited with their daddy)...  I haven't even had a chance to write about the past couple of weeks with Little Miss and Itty Bitty!  I'll have to catch everyone up.  They've been gone for five days, and I am missing Little Miss like crazy right now.  I'm happy that CPS didn't drag out their case though when they decided that their daddy was the right place for them.

So there they are...  My five butterflies...  The "happiness" that found me when I wasn't even looking...  I pray for each of them every day.  I pray for the new little ones who will enter my home in the future.  I pray that I am able to give each of these kids what they need for as long as I am blessed to have them in my life.  And I pray that they know the kind of happiness that they have given me...

"Loving One of These"

Though she longed for her own children,
God supplied a steady flow;
And her life was filled with youngsters,
As the years would come and go.

Gently taught she of the Savior,
Little hearts received with joy!
Steadily, she wisely counseled
With a young and wayward boy.

Little ones, with no attention,
Fell into the lady’s plans
And she loved and guided gently,
Trusting God would understand.

Children need a loving Mother
Who has time to listen well;
Who can watch their face intently,
As their stories they do tell.

Though her loving arms were holding
Children other than her own,
Still, the mother love was given;
Still, the seeds of love were sown.

Not to one was she blood mother;
But I wonder how God sees.
Does birthing make a mother,
Or is it loving one of these?

© 1980 Joan Clifton Costner


Thank you for sharing this, Tasha!

"What I Live For"

I found this poem my senior year of high school in one of our literature books. It seems to put into words what I've always felt. To this day, this is still one of my favorite poems. This is my "Something Old" for the week.

What I Live For...

I live for those who love me,
Whose hearts are kind and true;
For the Heaven that smiles above me,
And awaits my spirit too;
For the human ties that bind me,
For the task that God assigned me,
For the bright hopes yet to find me,
and the good that I can do.

I live to learn their story
Who suffered for my sake;
To emulate their glory,
And follow in their wake;
Bards, patriots, martyrs, sages,
The heroic of all ages,
Whose deeds crowd History's pages,
And Time's great volume make.

I live to hold communion
With all that is divine,
To feel that their is a union
Twixt Nature's heart and mine;
To profit by affliction,
Reap truth from fields of fiction,
Grow wiser from conviction,
And fulfill God's grand design.

I live to hail that season
By gifted ones foretold,
When men shall live by reason,
and not alone by gold;
When man to man united,
And every wrong thing righted,
The whole world shall be lighted,
As Eden was of old.

I live for those who love me,
For those who know me true,
For the Heaven that smiles above me,
And awaits my spirit too;
For the cause that lacks assistance,
For the wrong that needs resistance,
For the future in the distance,
And the good that I can do.

- George Linnaeus Banks -

Quote of the Day

I thought I'd start putting some of my favorite quotes on here too... My absolute favorite, and the one that is closest to my heart is...

I found this quote the year after Bipolar Girl became medicated and started to turn things around. It seems like I had spent most of my adult life chasing things that I thought would make me happy, but everything always seemed just out of reach.

It wasn't until my year of getting myself together that I finally realized that I needed to stop focusing on what I didn't have, and start focusing on all of the good things in my life. Amazingly, within a year of me deciding to stop chasing butterflies, they found me! Their names are "Angel" and "Booger Bear", and I've never been happier.

The Power of a Scent

Source

"What scents immediately bring you back to childhood?"
There is a quote by Diane Ackerman that is so true.

"Nothing is more memorable than a smell. One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains."

For me, there are so many scents that immediately transport me to other times and places.

• Coppertone suntan lotion - It has to be Coppertone, because that's what my mom used to slather all over us at 5:00am the mornings that our entire extended family headed out for the lake. My grandparents had a boat and a camper, and the whole family (my parents, my sister, my two aunts, and my grandparents) would go camping for the weekends. Some of us would sleep in a tent, some in the camper, and my aunts would sleep in the boat. It was always fun to watch the grown-ups water ski building pyramids and stuff. I always thought my family was SO COOL. :-) And whenever I get a whiff of Coppertone suntan lotion, I always think of family camping trips.

• This leads me straight into Noxzema - After several days at the lake, you tend to get a sunburn no matter how much Coppertone your mom put on you. I have never been able to use Noxzema for its intended purpose of facial cleansing because I always associate it with the excruciating pain of a bad sunburn. One whiff of the stuff and I tend to cringe.

• The ocean - There's nothing like the smell of the ocean! And try as they may, candle and air freshener manufacturers just can't seem to harness the scent. :-( Personally, I think they have neglected to include the rotting seaweed and seagull poop in the equation. Yeah, it sounds disgusting, but if you ask me... That's all part of what makes the ocean smell like the ocean.

• Honeysuckle - When I was a little girl, we had a honeysuckle vine in our backyard that was also mixed with blackberries. My little sister and I would always "sneak" back there to pick berries and honeysuckle flowers because we weren't supposed to (there were bees), but I have a feeling my mom knew what we were up to. Mom's know everything. To this day, the smell of honeysuckle makes me smile and feel like I'm getting away with something. :-)

• Hay, horse poop, and wood shavings - I know, I know... It might not sound appealing to a lot of people, but I love the smell of being in a barn! It reminds me of my Grandpa Jim. If a heart can smile, that's what mine does when I smell a barn. It just makes me think of happy times. And if you mix the barn smell with my Grandpa Jim's cologne, it's even better! :-)

• Perfume-maker smell - Growing up, I had a little toy perfume maker. I would spend hours mixing the perfect fragrances together. Granted, they all smelled exactly the same... Kind of like flowers and soap mixed together... But I thought I was really doing something special. And the funny thing is, every once in a while, a woman will walk by wearing what I would swear is one of my perfume creations! I guess I should have patented them. I could be rich! :-)

I have a lot more (ex. cherry tobacco, smoke, roast beef, Drakkar Noir), but these are the big ones. What about you? Are there any scents that immediately bring you back to childhood or take you somewhere else?

Friendship

"Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light."
~Helen Keller

Helen Keller on Life

"Once I knew only darkness and stillness... my life was without past or future... but a little word from the fingers of another fell into my hand that clutched at emptiness, and my heart leaped to the rapture of living." ~Helen Keller

Helen Keller on Death

"Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room, I shall be able to see." ~Helen Keller

Duty

"I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble." ~Helen Keller

Fearless

"It's wonderful to climb the liquid mountains of the sky. Behind me and before me is God, and I have no fears."
~Helen Keller

Settling

Searching

"What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me."
~Helen Keller

Sense of Smell

"Smell is a potent wizard that transports you across thousands of miles and all the years you have lived."
~Helen Keller

Suffering

Character

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
~Helen Keller

Lost Happiness

Peace

"I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace."
~Helen Keller

Beauty