Time Flies

Holy crapfire! My homestudy is in 12 days!!! I could have a baby before the first of the year at this rate!

The training is going really well. Lots of things to think about and there are some really nice families going through the training as well. Definitely a wide variety of people... I think we've weeded out the crazys though. We had the creepy, obnoxious guy who was too stupid to figure out that he wanted to adopt, not foster. And most recently, we lost the couple who swore that it was a "deal-breaker" if they weren't allowed to carry their loaded, concealed weapons while they were carrying the baby. Bummer.

My mom's going through all of the classes with me (thank goodness!). I definitely need the extra set of ears and all of the support. My dad came over last weekend and installed the child locks on the cabinets for me. And Lori came down from Oklahoma and helped me register at Target. I decided I should get to have some scanning fun even though I'm not squeezing a squirming infant out of my nether regions. I still have a TON of stuff to do and buy before the homestudy, but it's coming along well. Luckily, Christy has two of everything and boy and girl stuff that I can borrow until I get my own!

I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm freaking out! But I can't wait!

Many a Time We-Moved

Several years ago, my sister, my cousins, and I had a Girls' Night... And somehow, we ended up discussing the confusing nature of the whole "2nd cousin, twice removed" thing. WHAT THE HECK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!? Are they my cousin's cousin on the other side who have married and divorced two times? At that point, are they really even my cousin? I have my step-grandfather's, step-grandson who I call my semi-sort of step-step cousin. Does that make him my 4th cousin thrice removed? Personally, I think if they are not a direct blood relative of your blood aunt or uncle, then they are NOT YOUR COUSIN!!! The numbering system is way too complicated.

That night, the girls and I decided that the "removed" portion of the phrase is actually meant to be "we-moved." For example, at the time Ariel was my 1st cousin, once we-moved (because she had only moved once). Sheena was my 1st cousin, twice we-moved (she had moved twice). Christy was the girls' 1st cousin I believe quadruple-a-time we-moved (she'd moved several times by that point). I, however, am the big winner at 1st cousin many-a-time we-moved (I've moved more times than I can count thanks to my crazy bipolar tendencies, and I don't think there's a fancy word for "23").

Source

 

 

This leads me to my dilemma. I'm in the process of completing my agency application, and they are asking for my address history over the past ten years. Seeing as how I've lived in at least EIGHT places over the past ten years, I'm a little at a loss for the addresses and timing of it all. I don't suppose any of you have an old address book with multiple scratched out entries for me, do you? If you could possibly send me the addresses that you might have for me, I can figure out the timing.

Quite honestly, there were a few places that I have chosen to block from my memory... Places that I won't be discussing with the social worker. I don't think they need to know about "the early years." No Porno Guy and the Sex People... (Brings back memories, doesn't it Case?) No getting locked IN the same apartment because the "safety" lock got stuck... No rotting rat corpses... No having to duck below the window sills at night for fear of being shot at by the neighbors housed in the hotel where people lived across the street... No having to move out early because Sam threw up on our carpet... No holes being BURNED in our carpet because Sam felt the need to play with lighters... On second thought... Maybe I just won't mention Sam. He seems to be the trouble-maker here. (Love you, babe!)

And I'll leave out the little details about our neighbors in the Portland apartment. They don't need to know that Melissa and I got stoned every day off of the second-hand pot smoke from the downstairs neighbors or that Sheena's virgin ears were introduced to the sounds of seriously loud lovin' from the same people (Well, the man and his mistress anyway. His wife was having NONE of him at the time, a fact that we were also aware of from the screaming fights). I might also omit the fact that I had to duct tape my back door shut in the duplex to keep the critters from crawling in because the builder refused to come out and put the weather stripping on.

I'm not too concerned. I mean, really! How many of us haven't had daily contact with Ugly Naked Guy? Isn't that just normal? And it really shouldn't shock the social worker when they enter my apartment and it sounds like the ceiling is going to cave in from the all-hours love fest coming from upstairs. Love is a beautiful thing, isn't it?

So, send me any addresses old or new that you might have for me from over the years (along with any fun stories that you might remember from the different places I've lived... Might be good for my book, even if they don't bode well for the homestudy...).

Getting Ready

Wow! It looks like I hit the foster/adopt agency at just the right time. The agency that I chose is having their next session of training classes from October 20th - November 8th, and I start the homestudy immediately after that. It looks like I might have a kiddo in the house in the next few months! YIKES!

Most people have nine months to prepare, so I'm cramming nine months of "nesting" into about four weeks. Apparently they like potential families to have things pretty well set up before the homestudy so they know you're prepared. Thank goodness Christy has boy/girl twins and hasn't gotten rid of all of their stuff yet! That should help out until I can pull together everything of my own.

I'm so excited! I've decided to request only infants (under 1 year old) to start out while the twins are still young. They are much more comfortable around younger children than they are with older kids. I'll just increase the ages I'd be willing to accept as the twins get older. Because our family is so close, I need to make sure this is right for everyone. While I think it will be harder to return a baby that I've had from a young age (essential being the only "mom" it has ever known), the day-to-day living will be easier than taking in an older child with more severe emotional needs. I would worry too much about how an older child would interact with the twins. I definitely want to take in older children eventually, but I want to wait until the twins are old enough to stand up for themselves. (Although Ka-Diva is pretty pushy already... My "Mini-Me"... I might be more worried about a 10-year-old foster child if it was just Ka-Diva!)

So it looks like before long, my life will be filled with poopy diapers and paperwork galore. My hope is that the child only poops while in the care of others. That will be our first conversation. "Hi, sweet baby! I'm going to be your mommy for a little while. Please no pooping unless you're at Nana's or Aunt Christy's houses." I'm really excited about the paperwork though. I LOVE lists, forms, and highlighters!!! It's a good thing too, because apparently every little thing has to be documented. I'm going to have to update my "Who I'd Like to Meet" section on MySpace with, "a man who brings me office supplies and changes poopy diapers!" He would make me happy!

The Big Decision

I'm a kid magnet. For some reason, kids are drawn to me like I have candy popping out of my pores. I'm the person who lost children approach in the store for help finding their parents. At 33-years-old, I still sit at the kids' table during family holidays because the kids are glued to my side. I've taught PE, tutored, coached gymnastics, volunteered to work with youth and children's groups at church, and worked summer day care and after school care at the YMCA. Luckily for me, I love the kids just as much as they love me.

For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to have a whole litter of kids of my own. But for me, my idea of "my own" kids has always been a houseful of children I've adopted. You see, there are these things called "pregnancy" and "childbirth" and "breastfeeding" ...and these things have never appealled to me one bit! I think God knew what he was doing when he afflicted me with endometriosis and cysts the size of baseballs that resulted in my having a hysterectomy at the age of 30. I don't think I'd make a very pleasant pregnant person. Having some little parasite sucking the life out of me for nine months, having to push the squirming creature out of my hoo-ha, and THEN allowing it to chew on my ta-ta's for months after that... I THINK NOT! Just hand it over after it's out, and I'll take it from there. I'll make an AMAZING mom... I would NOT make a good pregnant person.

So after years of soul-searching, hours of prayer, and many lists of pros and cons, I've decided to become a foster parent. I've always shied away from fostering in the past. My main fear is that I would become too attached and something would happen that would result in having a child taken away from me after years of being their "mom." But this year, my mindset has begun shifting from "this child is mine" to "I can help this child for as long as they need me." Yes, I will be heartbroken after a child leaves my home, especially if they've been with me for years... But at least I'll know that I made a difference in their lives while I had them, and as their foster mom, I'll get the first chance to officially adopt them as they become eligible. It looks like I'll have my litter of kids after all!

So today, the journey begins! I go to my first foster/adopt meeting tonight! Wish me luck as I go through the process, and don't be surprised if I ask some of you to fill out reference forms for me. I'll be blogging throughout the whole process, so feel free to take the journey with me! I can't wait!!!

Passing the Time...

1. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
It's sweet! It's nice to feel loved without being groped all the time.

2. A big poofy dress or a short party dress?
Good grief, I'm poofy enough without adding to it with the dress!!!

3. What would you do if you received a long love letter?
Well, I supposed I would read it. DUH!

4. Group dates or single dates?
At this point, ANY DATE would be lovely!

5. Do you hate it when guys act different around their friends?
I don't care how he acts if I'm not there... As long as he's not messing with other girls and I don't have to come bail his butt out of jail, he can act as stupid as he wants with his friends.

6. Are diamonds a girl's best friend?
They're nice and all, but I'll marry the man who proposes to me with a variety pack of mulit-color, free-flow ink highlighters!

7. Is your hair up or down today?
Up right now... Down during the day...

8. Do you straighten your hair?
Usually curl it... I only straighten it when it's short.

9. Favorite mascara?
Clear! I'm allergic to that other stuff, so it just smears from my eyes watering.

10. Do you get your nails done?
I am NOT paying $35 to get my nails done when I can buy Diet Coke or go to Girls' Night instead! One has to have priorities, you know...

11. Small or large purses?
One with lots of compartments... I have to be organized. The OCD in me...

12. In your purse, what are your must haves?
Cell phone, glasses, debit card, ID, lip gloss, and anti-crazy meds...

13. Jeans or sweats?
Jeans in public... Yoga pants around the house or to paint in... Sweat bottoms are just WRONG!

14. Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that's uncomfortable?
It is painful to be this stinkin' hot, you know... (OMG! I almost managed to type that without bursting into laughter!)

15. Do you text message a lot?
I'm usually right around my 200 a month allotment.

16. What would you do if you got pregnant?
SUE THE FREAKIN' HECK OUT OF MY OBGYN!!! I had a hysterectomy three years ago! (Although I'd probably be thrilled silly and then sell my story to the trash mags. "Woman With No Uterus Has Bouncing Baby Boy!")

17. What's your favorite color?
Crayola Crayon Midnight Blue (It HAS to be that brand too!)

18. Heels or flats?
Chunky heels or wedges

19. Did you ever cry during a romantic movie?
Of course! I DO have feelings you know!

20. Would you ever leave the house without make-up on?
Depends on where I'm going, but I don't really have a problem with it either way.

21. Walmart or Target?
I have to go to BOTH because neither one carries ALL of what I need to buy!

22. Do you wear collared shirts?
Occassionally

23. Do you like preppy boys?
Depends... I'd like to find a guy who can easily convert back and forth from preppy to tough cowboy to scruffy biker guy. That's HOT AS HELL!!!

24. Do you think lip gloss is the best!?
Um, no. I can think of all sorts of other things that top lip gloss on my list of "best things." World peace, an end to homelessness, my electric stapler with rechargable batteries...

25. Do you own any big sunglasses?
no

26. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
27 minutes exactly

27. Do you like to wear band-aids?
Am I bleeding?

28. Do you like skater boys?
Skater? No. Biker? Yes.

29. Do you often wish there was something you could change?
Well, I sure as heck wish that OTHER PEOPLE would change the darn toilet paper rolls once in a while! There is NOTHING more irritating than walking into a bathroom with three mostly-used rolls of toilet paper sitting on the back of the toilet and a COMPLETELY EMPTY ROLL on the holder!!!

30. Gold or silver?
Definitely silver

31. Do you like to receive flowers?
I love flowers. I would love to RECEIVE flowers. However, no one ever gets them for me unless I'm having body parts removed.

32. Do you like surfer boys?
Depends on if he can do the whole rough and tough thing too. And if he says things like "DUDE!" and "NARLY!" it would be a total NO!

33. Do you dress up for the holidays?
Depends on the occassion.

34. Do you like to wear dresses?
Not if it means wearing nylons. Those things are EVIL!!!

35. On a scale of 1-10 how much do guys confuse you?
Not much... I think I confuse them more.

36. In the last 48 hours have you hung out with a guy?
Only my adorable nephew

37. Would you date a guy shorter than you?
No... I'm only 5'2"! Besides, I don't want to have to feel like I have to protect him!

38. Do you like to hold hands?
Of course

39. What is the youngest you would date?
It would depend on how mature he is. I'd prefer he have a real job and not live with his parents.

40. What is the oldest you would date?
see 39.

41. What do you notice when you first meet a guy?
His eyes and smile (teeth)

42. Is it hot when guys sweat?
It is if I don't have to touch them or smell them.  And I'm sure it probably is hot if he's sweating.

43. What is the best feature in a guy?
His smile and personality

44. Do you like making eye contact?
I'm a flirt, so I love the eye thing.

46. Would you kill for chocolate?
No. Killing is bad.

47. Did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy?
Hell no! I'll spend a few hours getting pretty for ME, and if a guy likes it, that's just an added bonus.

48. On a scale from 1-10 how fun is shopping?
Do I have money?

49. Do you freak out if you miss your favorite show?
I don't miss my shows. I have a DVR! I salute YOU, Mr. DVR Invention Guy! You are a REAL MAN OF GENIOUS.

50. Do you yell a lot?
No. I tend to get very quiet when I'm pissed off. I yell at hockey games though. I LOVE HOCKEY!!!

51. Do you wear sweatpants/pajamas to school/work?
My @ss would be fired.

52. Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy?
Nope

53. Do you write a lot of mushy love poems?
Ewww... No. But I do write a lot. Stories, poetry, etc.

54. What makeup could you not live w/out?
I love my lipstick and all, but I'm sure I would continue living without it.

55. Do you fall in love easily?
Nope. So if I say "I love you," you can know I definitely mean it.

56. Do you have cramps?
Not any more, THANK GOD (and my OBGYN!!!)

57. Do you think you have the bestest friend ever?
I have a few of the "bestest friends ever." I'm a very, very lucky girl!