"Foster Friday" - After They Leave

It's been nine days since Monkey went to live with his daddy, and we are all doing our best to adjust to a new "normal."  So far, things are going really well!

I have to admit, I was kind of a wreck from the day that Monkey left until Sunday night.  I was so afraid that his dad was going to change his mind about me keeping him, and I just wouldn't ever see him again.  I can't tell you how relieved and happy I was when he showed up a half an hour earlier than I expected him on Sunday night!  :-)  Now that we have a week down, and a pretty good idea of how we're going to do this, I'm breathing much, much easier, and am finally able to start moving on with everything else in my life.

With Monkey's return home so new, it's made me think about how different my life is when my kiddos enter and leave.  It's always an adjustment for any foster family, but for me...  For me, the change between being "single, full-time working, foster mama" to "single lady with no kids and a cat" is a drastic one, especially after a long-term placement.  I think it would be different if I had a husband and/or other children at home who still needed me, but to go from having a child be my whole world to absolutely nothing...  Well, the silence can be deafening.  I was sort of wallowing in that silence until last Sunday night when Monkey came back.

Now that I know he's going to be with me half of the week, I'm finally allowing myself to get excited about other things and making plans.  I get to be Monkey's "Mama" from Sunday night through Thursday morning, and now I have the time to really spoil my other kiddos on the weekends!  We're starting up our "Saturday Crew" again tomorrow, and I know that Heaven, Booger, Banana, Buddy, and Ka-Diva are just as excited about that as I am.  :-)

No more wallowing in self-pity or crying in a silent house for me!  I'm taking a couple of months off from fostering to look for a three bedroom place so I have more room for more kids.  And in the meantime, I'm making the most of my "free" time by spoiling all of my other kids rotten!  Somehow, I don't think they'll object.  ;-)

So how do the rest of you cope after your children leave your home?  Do you do anything special?  How do you allow yourselves to grieve?  What helps you the most in dealing with the loss?

Very Brave or Very Stupid...

Well, the Saturday Crew either got very brave or very stupid this weekend.  :-)  Christy decided to venture out in her brand new "I-am-No-Longer-a-Cool-Car-Driving-Mom" minivan with all four kiddos and join Heaven and me for our regular Saturday adventure.

This week's MEGA-sized Saturday Crew consisted of:

• Me
• Heaven
• Christy
• Buddy (6 years old)
• Ka-Diva (6 years old)
• Booger Bear (2 1/2 years old)
• Banana (almost 4 months old)
• Chunky Monkey (3 months old)
• Pooper (7 weeks old)
• Butterfly (7 weeks old)
• and Kelly even joined us for an hour or so later in the day...

Yep...  That is correct!  Four babies under the age of 4 months old!!!

Things went surprisingly well.  Four hours, four babies, an afternoon of swimming, lunch, and hardly any crying!  (In fact, I think the majority of what little crying there was ended up being from the older kids!)  Christy says she is going to start bringing the babies over here more often because that was the quietest they've been in weeks.  I told her I don't understand, because they are almost always quiet when I'm there.  ;-)

The older kids had a blast swimming all afternoon and had even more fun when Kelly got there because he is apparently more fun than the women are right now.  (It's a little harder now that we have more babies needing more attention.)  We did still manage to swim long enough for the kids to get a little crispy and exhausted, surprise Buddy and Ka-Diva with a balloon pit that Booger insisted we build for them, and I got to hang out for a few minutes eating popscicles on the patio with my three "big kids."  I wish I had a picture of the four of us swinging on the patio swing with our popscicles.  Heck!  I wish I had more pictures from the day at all!  I would have loved to get a picture of all of the "grandkids" together for my parents.  It's the first time they were all together in one place!  It was a bit of a madhouse though.  ;-)

Blowing up balloons for the balloon pit surprise...

Banana getting her beauty sleep in the shade...

Banana thoroughly enjoying her berry bananas...

There's a reason Heaven doesn't bother with bibs.  ;-)

Chunky Monkey zonked out for a 2-hour nap after a long day...

The afternoon turned out really well!  Although, we did discover one slightly disturbing fact as the afternoon progressed...  Christy busted out laughing about an hour into the afternoon with the comment "Do you two realize how many times we've said the word "poop?!?"  ;-)  With four babies and a potty-training 2-year-old, the words "poop," "poopy," "pooped," and "pooping" seemed to be rather dominant in the conversation.  In fact, I believe the word "pooper-nuggets" even escaped my lips at one point.  I guess that's just one of the occupational hazards of being a mommy...  ;-)

"The Bigger and Better 'Saturday Crew'"

So ever since Heaven's birthday back in February (* EDIT - BAD ADOPTIVE MOMMY!  Heaven pointed out that I made a boo-boo...  Banana's birthday is in February...  Heaven's is in April.  Hey!  I'm on medication!  What can I say!?!  Heaven knows that I love her even if I tried making her older than she really is ;-), we've started a weekly tradition.  Every Saturday (I think we've only missed one!), Heaven, Booger, Banana, Buddy, and Ka-Diva come to my house and we spend the day hanging out and doing one fun activity.  We've done everything from walking to the park a couple blocks from my house and "exploring" the "woods", to watergun fights, to Easter Egg decorating, to decorating stepping stones, and more!  I'll be going back and posting our Saturday adventures as I have time because I don't want to forget anything.  :-)

It's been a little complicated trying to maneuver everyone around.  The day tends to start with me driving over to Heaven's to pick up her, Booger, and Banana.  I bring them back to my place and get them settled.  Then I head over to my sister's house to pick up Buddy and Ka-Diva.  We do the whole thing in reverse to get everyone home.  It's a little hectic, but it's worked out pretty well.  That is, until I got Chunky Monkey.  That's thrown a little kink into things because my car isn't quite big enough for three carseats!  The Saturday Crew is bigger and better with the addition of my little Monkey, but we're having to be a little more flexible with transportation. 

To be honest, (and I'm a little embarrassed to admit this), I am seriously contemplating getting an SUV with third row seating.  Yes, I am single.  Sure, half of the time I don't even have a foster child.  But it would be AWESOME to have the flexibility to fit all seven of us in one vehicle and be able to actually go to places that are farther than walking distance from my apartment.  These kids are in my life for the long-haul, so I should be a good Aunt Tammy, Mimi, and Mom and accommodate my kids, right?  ;-)

Anyhoo...  I digress...  ;-)  Back to today's adventure and our "Bigger and Better" Saturday Crew...

I wasn't sure who was coming today with the holiday weekend and all.  Christy had just brought the twins over and I was getting them and Monkey ready to swim when Heaven called and said that Booger and Kelly were dying to go swimming (I don't blame them.  It was close to 100 degrees today!).  Kelly was off this weekend, so our group grew from our original six to eight with the new additions of Kelly and Monkey!  Buddy and Ka-Diva were really excited because they are in love with Heaven, and they think that Kelly is really cool because he plays with them whenever he's around.  "Did you see that Kelly can do HANDSTANDS in the water!?!"  ;-)

We spent a good 2 1/2 hours in the pool this afternoon and had a blast!

My favorite 6-year-olds on the planet!

Ka-Diva and me...  And I thought she was smiling...

Girl is the "Funny Face Diva!"

Me and my handsome nephew...  :)

Ka-Diva with two of her favorite people...

She loves her some Heaven!

(and what I wouldn't give to be as relaxed as Banana!)

Buddy with his Heaven...

Heaven, Banana, and Booger...

(Note Kelly - goggles and all, playing in the background ;-)

Ah...  The rough, rough life of a 3 1/2-month-old...  ;-)

And my little Chunky Monkey...

Swimming is exhausting stuff!

Gotta say, as far as I'm concerned...  This is the way that foster care should be.  People coming together for the love of some amazing kids...  Best part of the day for me was when a random guy asked if Buddy and Ka-Diva were Booger's big brother and sister and Heaven replied without pause...  "They're cousins."  :-)  Have I mentioned lately that I love my life?  :-)

Stepping Stones...

So this week's Saturday Crew activity was to decorate our own stepping stones.  Christy and I had done this once when Buddy and Ka-Diva were about three years old, and they loved it.  Heaven and I thought it would be fun to get handprints of the kids and let them decorate their stones.  It didn't quite work out the way we'd planned, but we had fun anyway.  :)

The day before, I picked up Heaven and the kids, and we made a little trip to Hobby Lobby to buy our supplies.  You would have thought that Booger had never been in a craft store before.  "What is that?!?  I want to see it!  Can I touch it?  I want to try it!"  We looked at just about every single item in the store, and Banana and Booger even had a fashion show!

Cha-cha-cha CHIA PET!!!

Pretty girl!!!

Our little cross-dressing Booger Bear...

(Poor boy had a run-in with the potty the night before and got a WHOPPER of a black eye.  :(  It was rather mortifying taking him in public.  We were certain someone was going to call CPS on us.  I would have been so embarrassed to have to tell the cops that, "Yes, Officer...  I am a licensed foster parent."  UGH!)

The big day arrived, but started off a little rough.  Booger Bear is deep into the Terrible Two's, and he started of the first 10 minutes at the house in timeout twice!  He is quite the little drama king when it comes to his timeouts, but he does them.  He totally knows better, and he knows that Tammy doesn't put up with physical stuff.  No warnings.  Straight to timeout.  So what possessed that boy to put on his "mean face" and take a little swing at me, I have no idea...  But he knew what was coming the second I gave him "the look" and led him by the hand to the "timeout" corner.  "I WANNA BE A NIIIICCCCEEE BOOOOYYYY!!!  I NO WANT TIMEOUUUUUTTT!!!  I WANNA BE A NIIICCCEEE BOOYYYY!!!"  (sob, sob, hyperventilate, whimper, cry...)

After his two minutes were up, and I reiterated why he was in timeout, and explaining that we do not hit ever, got my "I'm sorry" and my hugs and our "I love you's" out of the way, he went back in with all of the group and exclaimed "I was in timeout."  So what on earth possessed that child to then kick at me not three minutes later?!?  Repeat of the first timeout.  But he was a "nice boy" after that.  :-)  I know it's frustrating for Heaven and Kelly because Kelly's grandparents let Booger get away with murder, and he knows it.  Fortunately, it only takes one or two reminders that Tammy doesn't play those games and he's usually a little angel when he's over here.

So after all of the initial "who's in charge" timeout sessions, we got to work on setting up the stepping stone supplies outside on the patio.  It was a gorgeous day for it!

Turned out a weeeee bit messier than we'd anticipated, but Banana was super-cooperative (until we decided to take her picture. ;-)

Fortunately, Mimi is always prepared (isn't that the Foster Mama motto?), and Banana got a good scrubbing in the baby bath.  I have a feeling Heaven was probably finding clay in places for a week though.  ;-)

Buddy and his masterpiece...  He was very meticulous with his work.

Ka-Diva proudly displaying her own masterpiece...

Booger Bear working on his very own stepping stone.  He is very excited to be a "big boy" now and to be able to do a lot of these projects on his own.  :-)

Heaven's many attempts to get Banana's footprints just didn't turn out quite as planned.  I'm sure she was mortified to have a messy stepping stone because she's a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to her artwork.  :-)

The kids all seemed to take the same approach to decorating their stepping stones as they took to decorating Heaven's birthday cakes.  Buddy loaded up on the "sprinkles."

Booger was sitting next to Buddy and trying to copy his every move with the "sprinkles."  (Booger has been Buddy's shadow since Day One :-)  On top of decorating with the "sprinkles," Booger also attempted to eat them (just like he did with the birthday cake.)

Ka-Diva once again took the neat, clean, minimalistic approach and turned out the one and only perfect handprint of the day!

The finished products out of the molds...

A 3-D view of Buddy's stepping stone...  I wouldn't recommend stepping on this one though.  ;-)

As we were in the process of getting everyone cleaned up, I stumbled across Buddy as he pulled "Green Eggs and Ham" off of the bookshelf and began reading it (in its entirety) to the Booger Bear.  Gotta say, I was a very proud Auntie!

The kids loving on Kitty Cat Tommie...

IDK what was going on with the boys and their goggles.  ;-)

Poor Banana was worn out!  She laid in that position and only opened and closed her eyes for 20 minutes straight.  :-)

And by the end of the day...  Mimi was worn out too!!!  :-)

Just another successful adventure of the "Saturday Crew"...

Watergun Warriors!!!

I have a park a few blocks from my apartment, and when the weather was nice, we'd pack up our supplies in the stroller, and walk down the street to "the park with the monster's house" as Booger calls it.  This week was getting hot, so I decided that for this park trip, we needed to do something that would keep us cool if we were going to be out there.

Today's great Saturday adventure... 

WATERGUN FIGHTS!!!
 

We tracked down every watergun and spray bottle we could find, filled them all up, and headed down the street to the park.  The kids always have fun with Heaven because she likes to get in there and do exactly what they're doing.  I tend to get my Banana-bonding time in while the rest of the kids are off playing.  :)   Buddy, Ka-Diva, and Booger initially ganged up on Heaven, but Heaven has a way of convincing the twins that they should pick on Booger instead.  ;-) 

Poor kid was drenched!

Buddy getting his watergun on...

The Watergun Warriors

(Even Banana was getting in on the action...)

Ignore the craziness of the camera work... 

It's not easy to film kids running around and dodging water at the same time.  :-)

Banana enjoying watching all of the watergun action.

(Taken before she puked her entire bottle all over her Mommy.

Very glad it wasn't me! :-)

After we ran out of water, and Heaven was covered in baby puke, we decided to head back to the apartment so Heaven and Banana could get cleaned up.  Somehow, the kids managed to convince me to let them stop by the pool to "just test the water" to see if we thought we'd be able to swim anytime soon.  I told the kids, "Sure, you can test the water."

I guess jumping in fully-clothed was their idea of checking it out.  :-)

CRACK ATTACK!!!

(A direct result of not being prepared for an inpromptu swimming adventure ;-)

What might have been Banana's REACTION to Booger's "Crack Attack."

And so completes another successful adventure of the "Saturday Crew."

:-)