Text Message

I must be feeling sassy today.  Monkey is supposed to have a long visit with his parents today to make up for the fact that they haven't seen him in three weeks (not all their fault...  lack of communication with the Invisible CPS Caseworker...  Shocker.).  I wouldn't know for sure if this visit is actually going to occur seeing as how I haven't heard from the Invisible One (shocker again).

So...  I sent her the following text message this morning:

‎"I'm sending a bottle just in case Monkey's visit goes past 11:00.

He shouldn't need it before then. He's getting over a cold,

so he's pretty congested and kind of fussy.

He also woke up at 5:00am this morning, so...

GOOD LUCK!!! ;-)"

Oh!  And did I mention that they have oh-so-brilliantly decided to schedule his visits during his morning naptime?

Yeah... You have fun with that, Invisible One! ;-P

Forever...

Yesterday, Momma over at "Called to Foster" posted something that I think puts into words what is in every foster mother's heart.  With permission, I wanted to share it here too.

Forever - Posted on October 20, 2011 by Momma

I may not be present in the days to come, but I will forever cherish the time we shared together!

I may not be with you for bedtime prayers, but I will forever be praying for you!

I may not be able to hold you in my arms, but I will forever hold you in my heart!

I may not be close enough to tell you, but I will forever love you!

I may not be your ‘forever mom’, but you will forever be my child!

*** If you are a foster parent, and haven't yet discovered "Called to Foster," definitely go check her out.  Honest, encouraging, and very informative...

Little Miss

One year ago today, a timid, self-soothing 11-month-old little girl came through my door.  Little Miss was with me for six weeks before she went to live with her daddy, but in those six weeks I saw her blossom into a happy, giggly, playful, little girl who finally learned to trust.

Out of all of my kids so far, I really think that Little Miss is the one who needed me the most.  In six short weeks, she showed me why it is so important for me to continue fostering no matter how hard it gets or how much I want to quit at times.  Simply put...  That little girl needed me.  She needed a steady, loving person to teach her that it was okay to depend on someone else to comfort her.  She needed to know without a doubt that she was special.  She needed the opportunity to learn new things and to know what a mother's love should be.  All things that she didn't have in her 11 months prior to coming through my door.

People always ask me how I can do this.  Don't I just want to curl up and die when they leave?  Isn't it just awful?!?  (My first thought is always, "Well, DUH!  What do you think?!?" ...  But I don't usually say that out loud. ;-)   My honest answer is, "Yes.  It's awful.  It's like little pieces of my heart are being ripped out one 'goodbye' at a time.  But the thought of not doing this...  The thought of not being there to love and nurture these kids who so desperately need someone like me...  I think that makes me feel even worse." 

Because, really...  Isn't having the opportunity to put this smile on the face of a little girl who had very little to smile about worth whatever heartache might come in the end?  I think so!  :-)

Dear Chunky Monkey,

I've been your Mama for five months now...  Most of your life, and definitely one of the best parts of mine...

With you, for the first time, I've called myself "Mama."

I know you better than anyone on the planet.  No one knows you like I do!

I know your sounds...

I know that your high-pitched, frantic squeal means that you suddenly realized that you want a bottle and that you think you are being starved to absolute death by your mean Mama for making you wait the thirty seconds that it takes to make it. 

I know that your happy, high-pitched squeal means that Kitty Cat Tommie is close by.

I know when you are talking in your sleep (which you do almost every night) vs. when you are actually awake, but content vs. when you are just on the verge of wanting Mama to come get you.

I know your smell...  (Let me interject that I will not be waxing poetic about your little baby smell.  While you do smell like a great combination of baby shampoo and lotion most of the time, I do believe you are quite possibly also the gassiest baby on the planet...  the stench of which led me to write a post about your Superhuman Baby Powers...)

I know that the quickest way to get you to fall asleep when you are just on the verge and are fighting it is to rub your little forehead.  Mama has magical forehead rubbing powers from which there is no escape.

I know that you can eat your weight in most foods, but you inhale Stage 2 Macaroni and Cheese as though it will disappear before your very eyes if you don't eat it quickly enough.

I know that you would rather starve than be forced to eat peaches or drink juice of any kind.

I know that you do know how to hold your own bottle, but you pretend like you don't just so Mama will do all of the work and free up your hands so you can play with mine.

I know every last one of your tickle spots and that you start laughing the second I lay you down on the changing table because you know what's coming.  I know that you crack up every single time I go to pull your arms out of your sleeves and that nothing is funnier than pulling a shirt off of your head.

I know that you have a newfound, odd obsession with your tongue and a strange inability to keep it contained within the confines of your mouth.

I know that you also love to blow spit bubbles with projectile spit.

I know that your current vocabulary consists of, "Grrrrrrr," "Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba," "EEEEEEEE," "Aye-aye-aye-aye," and "Phftlphftlzzz."

I know that you are a ladies' man and that all the girls love you almost as much as I do.  ;-)

I know that your favorite song is "Little White Duck," that "Brahm's Lullaby" knocks you out within seconds, and that "Patty Cake" has been your favorite game since you were three months old.

I know when you're congested because of your reflux and when you're congested because of allergies or teething.  Strange that it has a distinctly different sound (at least to me)...

I know not to make eye contact with you while you are teething because you're boo-boo face will pop to the surface.  ;-)

And I know that nothing can melt my heart like seeing your big, toothy smile.

I am so blessed to be your Mama.  I will love you, protect you, and cherish every second with you for whatever time I'm lucky enough to have you.

I love you so very, very much, Baby Boy...
~Mama

True Love

Because nothing says, "I love you"

like eating a girl's nose...