Getting "Google-y"

So I was bored and decided to do that Google search thing that everyone is doing with "Tammy likes to." I can tell you that now is NOT a good time to be named "Tammy" because "Tammy" apparently likes to do quite a lot of things... NONE of which are appropriate for posting on the Internet.  I would never be able to foster again!

I quickly switched to "Tammy needs..." This was a bit better...


1. Tammy needs "your prayers and good wishes." - Always! Who doesn't need that?

2. Tammy needs "a baby." - CREEPY!!! How did Google know THAT?!?

3. Tammy needs "constant care." - Hee-hee... You're not kidding! :-)

4. Tammy needs "a bib." - Well, a bib would have come in handy before my breast reduction, that's for sure! I never did understand the point of putting a napkin in your LAP when the food never made it that far in the first place.

5. Tammy needs "clear behavior guidelines." - I think I'm fairly well-behaved, thank you!

6. Tammy needs "to think before she talks." - I would have to agree with this one. I sometimes seem to be missing that switch that prevents me from saying EXACTLY what's on my mind.

7. Tammy needs "to seek psychological treatment." - Been there, done that. I would have to agree.

8. Tammy needs "a good, but reasonably priced accountant." - Well, I guess it couldn't hurt.

9. Tammy needs "minimal correction when on a leash." - I really don't know what to say about this one.

10.  Tammy needs "to go to Vegas." - Whoa...  They're GOOD!!!

11.  Tammy needs "to vent about it somewhere." - That is why I have this blog!  :-)

12.  Tammy needs " a blog AND a TV show!" - Well, now we're talkin'!  I am pretty awesome. :-)

13.  Tammy needs "support, as she has some mental problems." - Don't make me go all "Bipolar Girl" on your butt!

14.  Tammy needs "some love." - Why yes...  Yes I do!

15.  Tammy needs "a mute button." - WTF?!?  WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO SAY?!?  "A MUTE BUTTON!"  WHATEVER!!!  THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT.  I THINK I'M OFFENDED.  NO.  I AM OFFENDED!  I SHOULD SUE!  "MUTE BUTTON..." 

16.  Tammy needs "to know that the answer is inside herself." - Wow...  Now that's deep.

17.  Tammy needs "a serious tan." - You're not kidding!  Albino white girl here, blinding poor, unsuspecting souls when I step into the sun...

18.  Tammy needs "to talk about it before she forgets her brilliant observations." - That is precisely why I have this blog!  One must never forget the importance of Toilet Paper Etiquette or the dangers of paper products.  And I just HAD to share my insights on how to get ahead at work.  I'm onto them, I tell you!

19.  Tammy needs "to be lifted by eight firemen." - Ohhhh, yeah!!!  I love me some firemen!!!  I firmly believe firemen are the sexiest men on the planet.  :-)

20. Tammy needs "to ask herself, 'What would Jesus do.'" - I'm not sure I can top this one, so I think I'll just stop here.

So what does Mr. Google say that you need?