I'll Own It!

It occurred to me yesterday as I was updating my personal FB status that I tend to admit to doing quite a few things that many people would balk at announcing on the WWW.  I have no shame apparently.  What fun is it if you can't laugh at yourself, right?  Heck!  A good percentage of this blog is dedicated to my "I'll Own It!" moments and admissions.

Like the time that I admitted to several of my guilty pleasures including boy bands, "Galaxy Quest," and that Justin Bieber/Rascal Flatts song...  Or when I announced to everyone that my feet smelled funky...  Or the day that I spent a good five minutes trying to find a way to unlock my car when the clicker wasn't working, only to realize later that I could have just used the key...  I've admitted to my mishaps in the kitchen and my less than stellar eating habits.  I've even admitted to being a Naked Gimp when I had broken my leg and couldn't get dressed after my first shower.  Like I said, I have no shame.

Sooo...  I figured, why not dedicate a post or two to all of my "I'll Own It!" moments?  If I'm going to admit to all of my shortcomings and funky quirks on my personal FB page, I might as well post them here for all to enjoy!

And so, without further adieu...

• Why, yes...  Yes, I did catch myself swayin' away and beboppin' to the awesome song in my head while sitting at my desk at work.  That "Thomas the Train" theme song ROCKS!  Those British kids can SANG!

• I'll own it.  I spent a good 15 minutes the other day getting a good chuckle out of tormenting Christy by sending her text messages mentioning all of the foods that I know make her gag a little.  Yes, I'm a 37-year-old grown woman, and I still get a sick satisfaction out of teasing my little sister.  :-)

• Yes.  I will admit that I pointed and laughed, danced a little jig, and sing-songed "Nanny-nanny boo-boooo!!!" to the cat when I decided to use this Winnie the Pooh area rug as a wall hanging so he wouldn't pee on it.  I sure showed him!!!

• Okay...  Yes...  I did something that I swore I'd never do, and I let my 17-month-old take over my Kindle Fire.  While I refuse to purchase a $200 device for a 1-year-old, I have to admit it's coming in quite handy as a learning tool.  Monkey is all about the touchscreen and doing his animal sounds app.  :-)

• Why, yes...  Yes, I did sit in the parking lot after work for a full 8 minutes trying to wrestle those stinking sunshades into submission to no avail.  I finally gave up, wadded them up, and stuffed them under the dash.  I don't have to work out today though what with 8 solid minutes of cardio in the 120 degree car and all...

• Yes, I'll own it.  I had a momentary brain fart and returned a phone call to my agency and was about to tell them that "Sure!  I'll take three kiddos on emergency respite for the next few days!  8 months, 1-year, and 2-years?  No problem!"  Fortunately they had already found a place for them before I called them back (my Respite 3's foster home!!!).  That is going to be one crazy, busy house for the next several days...  :-)

And that is what I am "owning" for the week!  Stay tuned to see what next week brings...

Not Smart Enough, Apparently...

I might be a fairly intelligent person.

National Honor Society...

Graduated 5th in my class...

In "Gifted & Talented" programs all throughout school...

Proud rider of the short bus and all that...

But I swear these stinking collapsible sun shades 

get the better of me

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!!!

I Had a Stalker, and He Smelled Funky!

I was being followed. 

I couldn't actually see him, but I knew he was there. 

You know how you get that feeling that something is just off?  Like you're being watched?  That feeling that makes you turn around and look behind you every few steps?  Well, I had that exact feeling the other day!

It started right after I left my house to head to work.  I got in my car, and immediately I knew something wasn't right.  There was an odor in my car that I just couldn't place.  I started to look around thinking that maybe I had accidentally left a fast food bag of food or missed a bag of groceries that were now rotting in the hot car.  Finding nothing, I thought "OMG!  Did I leave the car unlocked?  Did a homeless person sleep in my backseat?!?"  By the time I arrived at work, I had pretty much resigned myself to thinking that a field mouse or some other small critter had crawled up in my engine and met its demise.

I didn't give the smell another thought until I stepped into the restroom at the office.  The smell was back!  Clearly someone was following me!  It was the only explanation!  I quickly ran into a stall and locked myself in.  I waited for a bit until the last person left the restroom, and I bolted back to my desk.

Throughout the remainder of the day, that smell came and went.  It followed me everywhere.  In the file room, in the copy room, in the elevator...  By the time I got home, I was freaking out!  I had a stalker!!!  I ran into the apartment and locked the deadbolt.  I turned and leaned against the locked door, finally safe inside my home.  I knew that funky-smelling stalker wasn't in my house because he was clearly hiding in my car.

Finally ready to let my guard down, I kicked off my shoes to settle in for a relaxing evening...  And I was hit full-force with an odor that made my eyes water by its sheer power.


Yep...  I had a stalker...  and he smelled funky!!!

My "stalker" was last year's summer shoes.

(*** Note to self...  Replace summer shoes yearly!!! ***)

A Blaze of Glory: Mishaps of the Culinarily-Challenged

I am not exactly known for my culinary prowess.  I give myself some credit.  I'm not the worst cook in the world.  I'm fairly certain that I could boil water if given proper instructions, but I will admit that the extent of my culinary genius tends to be along the lines of EZ Mac-n-Cheese with cut up hot dogs.  For the most part, if there are more than five ingredients or spices of any kind, I will probably screw it up.  I know this about myself.  I'll own it.  In fact, I'll even throw out a few examples of my culinary mishaps on the World Wide Web for all to see!  :-)

My first clue that I should probably not be let loose in a kitchen came one evening when I had the oh-so-brilliant idea to make myself some S'mores.  I had all of the ingredients, and they were calling my name!


This is what I wanted...

What I ended up with was something akin to a charred heap of burning rubble.  Apparently graham crackers catch on fire in the microwave.  Who knew?!?

After my microwave went down in a blaze of glory along with my S'mores, I was at a complete loss as to how I was going to eat.  I ended up doing what anyone would do in that situation.  I called my Mommy.  And darned if she didn't laugh at me when I asked her how on earth a person was supposed to cook hotdogs without a microwave!  Who knew there were so many different ways to cook a hotdog?!?

After I mastered the cooking of the hotdog, I must have mistakenly determined that I was a whiz in the kitchen because I just knew that I could tackle entire meals by myself.  I even decided that I would face my fears about raw meat head-on and cook chicken and use ground hamburger!  I sat down one Saturday afternoon and spent the next four hours creating a menu for the week.  It was a thing of beauty!  I have a slightly disturbing love of lists, so I was immediately digging this whole "cooking" thing even though I had yet to actually cook.

One trip to the grocery store later, having purchased items that were completely foreign to me like "EVOO" and bay leaves, I decided to hit the ground running and cook my first real "meal."  Lemon pepper chicken, steamed asparagus, and wild rice with waldorf salad for dessert... That first real "meal" turned out to be my last.  Apparently there is a timing issue that needs to be addressed when cooking several dishes for one meal. I ended up with rubber chicken, soggy rice, crunchy asparagus, and an apple for dessert.  Twelve years later, I have yet to muster the courage to attempt another full-fledged "meal."  Casseroles all the way for this single foster mama!

Some people might wonder why I choose to only foster infants.  One might assume it is because infants don't have nearly the amount of emotional problems that older children in foster care possess.  However, for me, one of the major deciding factors was the whole "you have to feed them" thing, and the thought of having to prepare actual meals with a variety of food groups scared the bejeezers out of me.  Give me an infant on bottles and baby food or toddlers who love Gerber meals and fruit any day!  That, I can manage.  I just really hope that when I finally am able to adopt, my kids enjoy a good ole casserole.  'Cause that's what they're going to get.  :-)

Parenting "Fail"

Oh...  Mama just had a parenting fail!

Me, working on Christmas Lists on the computer.

Monkey, playing in his stationary jumper

right next to me...

Or so I thought because the music was playing away!

Poor baby was sawing logs on top of his keyboard!

Oops!

:-)

Acceptable Excuse for Respite?

I have been looking forward to this day for over a year! 

It's TWILIGHT TIME!!!

The girls in my family have a tradition.  Whenever a new Twilight movie comes out, we get together and go to see it.  This year though, as the big day started drawing nearer and nearer, I could feel the panic setting in.  This year, I have a baby!  A foster baby, at that...  And all of my approved babysitters are family members who are a part of our movie group!

What's a shirtless Jacob buff to do?!?  (To clarify, I am not shirtless.  I like shirtless Jacob.  There is a distict difference.  Trust me on this.  ;-)

I rarely use respite care that isn't a family member.  In fact, I've only used it once before with Itty Bitty.  But when it came to seeing my movie, I have to admit I was seriously considering contacting my agency to find an approved respite care provider for Monkey.  I had posted my dilemma on FB, and mentioned that my last resort was going to be to beg my dad to sit at my apartment while Monkey slept since he was the only background checked family member left who wouldn't care to go to Girls' Night.  While awaiting his reply, I began forming a rough draft to my agency's Family Specialist...

My Dearest Nice Lady,

     You've always been my very favorite person in Foster/Adopt Land.  You know that, right?  ;-)  I am writing because I have a desperate need for respite care this weekend.  A dire emergency has arisen, and I have no idea what I am going to do!  You see, there is someplace that I absolutely must be on Saturday night, and all of my approved babysitters will be there as well.  I don't really want to leave Monkey with a stranger though.  How would you like to keep him for the evening?  You know you love him!  Have I mentioned that you are my very favorite person in Foster/Adopt Land?  ;-)  Any help you could provide would be greatly appreciated. 

Sincerely,
Your August Foster Parent of the Month
(Doesn't hurt to remind them of that, right? ;-)

Note how I neglected to mention the exact nature of my "emergency."  I wasn't sure that a desperate need to ogle a shirtless Taylor Lautner would qualify as an acceptable excuse for paid respite care.  Although I think that any self-respecting woman would agree with me that it should be!

Fortunately, I didn't have to send my plea to Nice Lady after all.  My mom graciously offered to forego the movie and sit with Monkey so I could have a Girls' Night and enjoy my nearly jailbait imaginary boyfriend for the night.  Yep.  My mommy definitely loves me!  :-) 

I am excited like a giddy schoolgirl!!!  I. CAN. NOT. WAIT!!! 

THANKS, MOM!!!  :-)

"That Mom"

Yes...  I have become...

"That Mom"

The mom who dresses her infant

in "Baby's 1st" holiday outfits...

I'm sure my BFF is

shaking her head at me right now.

But what can I say???

My kid can ROCK even the CHEESIEST

of turkey and "ugly Christmas sweater" apparel!

I mean, seriously...

This kid is stinkin' cute!  ;-)



My Guilty Pleasure

I have a confession to make.

I love having 2-and-unders every year for Halloween!

I love being able to dress them in cute, yet embarrassing costumes.

I love that there is absolutely nothing they can do about it.  :-)

The first year that I got to play "dress up" was with Booger Bear.

Booger Bear was, well...  A Bear! 

(Original, I know...  ;-)

We went trick or treating with Ka-diva and Buddy.

Ka-diva insisted that she was obviously a "Good" Witch
because only "Good" Witches wear purple.
DUH!

Buddy was a police officer.  He marched up to each house
with an air of authority that was rather intimidating for a 4-year-old.
When one woman commented that she was afraid he was
coming to arrest her, he replied,
"Don't worry, ma'am.  I'm not a real police officer."

The next year, I was thrilled silly when Little Miss' daddy sent
a costume home for her after a visit.

A COW!!!

If I had thought about it, I totally would have

made an "Eat Mor Chikin" sign.

I might have to revisit this particular costume in the future.

No 3-year-old would let me get away with putting them in a cow suit.

As it was, Little Miss was less than thrilled.

Buddy continued with the hero theme, and went as a

member of the SWAT team.

Ka-diva was a cat girl.

This year, my little Chunky Monkey went as...

A CHUNKY MONKEY!!!

:-)

Our group increased this year with the addition of

the Mini Munchkins.

 

Pooper and Butterfly carried on the theme of Christy's

baby shower, and went as Thing 1 and Thing 2.

 

Buddy opted to be a villain this year, rather than a hero.

 

And surprisingly, Ka-diva went for a scarier look as well.

Ka-diva has always flat-out refused to step foot in the party stores

around Halloween because she hates the scary things.

In fact, just last month, she told the McD's drive thru worker

that her Mommy has just tortured her.

Christy had to explain that no, she didn't really torture

her child.  They had simply just gone through the Halloween

costume aisle at the party store.

 

So there you have it.

My secret confession...

My guilty pleasure...

I love having 2-and-unders for Halloween!!!

Sure Signs that Mimi Needs Some Sleep

  

With all of the craziness the past couple of weeks, I didn't realize just how tired and stressed out I really was until this week...  Sure signs that Mimi needs a good, loooooong nap:

• I added formula to my raspberry tea.  Not almost added formula...  But actually added formula.

• I tried to lock my cubicle with my car clicker.  I went so far as to get all frustrated that my clicker had stopped working again and remembered to "use the key" before I realized that my car keys weren't likely to work on my office cubicle (especially considering it is a cubicle.  As in no door to lock).

• Upon reading further on the side effects of Monkey's congestion/allergy medication, I momentarily came to the brilliant conclusion that "Yeah...  I should probably stop giving it to him.  I do have a lot of those side effects."  (Note that I said that I have a lot of those side effects.  The baby who is actually taking the medication seems to be just fine.)

• I created mass hysteria in the Finance Department when I got into work on Monday and insisted that someone had come in over the weekend and switched my mouse for an old, used one.  I was so emphatic that the other girls in the office came to the conclusion that someone had done the same with theirs.  I called the IS Department and expressed my frustration.  After they insisted they had no part in it, I decided that it must have been our favorite office prankster.  I outed him on Facebook.  He called, whining, ;-) and swearing he didn't do anything.  After spending the better part of my day trying to track down the evil-doer, I started to realize that my mouse just might actually be my mouse after all.  I did just get a new computer at home over the weekend.  I probably just got used to how that mouse felt and went a wee bit crazy when I got to work.  Just a wee bit...

And the biggest, surest sign of all that Mimi needs a long, long nap...

I LET MY CROPS WITHER ON FARMVILLE!!!  TWICE!!!  Now if that's not a sure sign of sleep-deprivation, I don't know what is! 

;-)

Blonde Moments of the Non-Blonde

Admit it!  You have them!  I know I do... 

• I've been known to exclaim (rather loudly, I might add) that everything at Cheddar's was "so cheesy!"  (Duh!  The place is called "Cheddar's!")  

• Upon hearing that a flight to New Zealand was going to take 23 hours, I asked (in all seriousness), "Well why don't they just go the short way?" thinking that if they took off in the opposite direction, it would only take 1 hour (because it only takes 24 hours for the earth to turn).

• While riding in my mother's car, I mentioned that they were sure playing a lot of Wilson Phillips on the radio that day...  It was a CD.

So I wasn't overly-surprised yesterday when I had yet another "blonde moment of the non-blonde."

I was on my way out of the daycare with Monkey in his carrier and diaper bag in tow when I approached the car.  I clicked the clicker.  Nothing.  That car was locked down like Fort Knox!  I spent the next five minutes walking around the car trying the clicker from different angles.  I tried shoving my arm through the cracked windows in a feeble attempt to unlock the car doors that way but the windows weren't quite low enough.  I was just about to walk back into the daycare to get Monkey out of the heat and to call my mom and ask her to bring my extra clicker when the doors finally unlocked when I pressed the button again.  I loaded Monkey, got in, and headed home. 

I was halfway home when it finally occurred to me... 

I probably could have just used the key!!!

Blonde moments of the non-blonde...  Fun times!  :-)

At a Crossroad...

Today, I find myself at a major crossroad in my life.  We are all faced with them from time to time.  Those moments when we are presented with conflicting options and must choose the road we feel is right...  "What is the source of my dilemma," you might ask?  Take a look for yourself...




Why, yes!  That is a Justin Bieber/Rascal Flatts single!  Now WTF am I supposed to do with that?!?  On the one hand, in my humble opinion, Rascal Flatts is freaking awesome and as far as I'm concerned, can do no wrong when it comes to making music.  They could sing Ernie's Rubber Duckie song from Sesame Street, and I'd totally melt.  On the other hand, there's that whole Justin Bieber thing that I'd have to live down if I ever publicly admit that I like this song.  So what is a 36-year-old woman to do when faced with a dilemma of this magnitude?  Fine!  I'll own it!  I like this song!!!  I'll just chalk it up as a "guilty pleasure" and everyone can just accept it for what it is.

I suppose while I'm fessing up to guilty pleasures, I might as well own up to a few more.  If I'm going to be mocked by my peers, I might as well give them some genuine ammunition.  ;-)

1.  I LIKE BOY BANDS! - That's right.  You heard me.  I became a closet boy band fan as a teenager when my sister became a "loud and proud" New Kids on the Block fanatic.  We're talking proud-owner-of-the-bedsheets, thousands-of-photos-covering-every-inch-of-wall-and-ceiling-space-in-her-bedroom, memorized-every-lyric-and-choreographed-routine FA-NA-TIC...  At the time, I refused to admit that I went to the concert.  I definitely refused to admit that I enjoyed the concert.  But now, 22 years later, I'll own it.  NKOTB, all the way, baby!!!  While my personal preferences lean toward the more "mature" Backstreet Boys, I can still bust out the choreography to "The Right Stuff" to this day!  :-)

2.  I think that "Galaxy Quest" is one of the funniest movies ever! -  I know!  I know!  You're probably all shaking your heads at me right now.  But you have to admit that this movie was so stupid that it was freaking hilarious!!!  And unlike other films like "Space Jam" that "starred" athletes for crying out loud, "Galaxy Quest" starred people who knew what they're doing!  Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Alan Rickman...  I'll even go one step further and admit that I owned the VHS and replaced it with the DVD when the big transition from VCR to DVD players happened several years back.  It's a funny movie, and no one is going to convince me otherwise.

3.  I take Mr. Bubble bubble baths! - Yes, I am a grown woman.  Yes, I realize that there are other bubble bath products on the market that are actually geared towards grown woman.  However, having compared multiple products, I have found that you just can't get good bubbles with any of those "grown-up" bubble bath liquids.  If I'm going to go to the hassle of filling up the tub, pulling out the candles, setting up the relaxing music, etc. I want some serious "bubbleage" in that tub that will last longer than 5 minutes!  Mr. Bubble, it is!  I'm not sure I'm willing to cop to occassionally drawing with the kids' bath crayons yet though...

Mock away if you must!!!  But just remember that one day, I might sneak up on you while you're busting out your best "Macarena" moves or belting out your favorite Air Supply song in the shower (Why, yes...  I do own Air Supply's Greatest Hits ;-P)...  They're called "guilty pleasures," and we all have them.  I'm just brave enough to own up to mine on the World Wide Web for all to see.  :-)

The Brunch of Champions!!!

I know...  I know!!!  I'm sure my BFF is "shaking her head at me right now."  She is constantly getting onto me about my eating habits (usually while we're stuffing our faces at a Tex-Mex establishment, so I don't really put much weight into her chastising me ;-).

Coolest Thing EVER

OMG!  I MUST HAVE THIS!!!

My co-worker just told me about these, and I do believe this has to be the coolest thing ever!!!  Possibly even cooler than PajamaJeans...  As a continuous mommy of toddlers, I have got to get my hands on some of these!!!  A practically spill-proof bowl!!!

"It spins and spins and spins, and stuff stays in!"  (It also appears to have super magical powers as the snack changes to a different food with every turn!  Goldfish crackers to Cheerios to marshmallows...  Amazing!)

When I first saw this ad, my heart leaped!  I heard harps playing, and a chorus of little birdies singing...  The computer screen glowed with a brilliant golden light, and all I could think was, "It's a miracle!"

I realize that some of you might think that I am exaggerating, but for those of you who have spent the past two years on your hands and knees acting as a human vacuum cleaner picking up fallen goldfish, yogurt melts, raisins, etc., I know you understand how exciting this wonder bowl is.  As a matter of fact, the Booger Bear's mama told me that he saw the ad for it on TV and said that it was "a cool cup" and that he wanted it too.  So see?  Even a two year old can see the magnificence that is the Gyro Bowl!

(And now I have begun to realize that I might have slight weakness for "As Seen on TV" products, as I just ate dinner made from hamburger defrosted on my Miracle Thaw and am about to give myself a pedicure using my PedEgg.  I also saw my Sandwich Maker and George Foreman grill in the pantry and wondered what I should make next.  And OMG!!!  Did you know there's an entire official website for "As Seen on TV" products?!?  And the In Styler is only $14.99!!!  Step away from the computer, Tammy.  Step away from the computer.  And whatever you do, DO NOT turn on the TV!)

Be Careful What You Ask For...

As I left the office yesterday, I noticed some serious dark and ominous looking clouds heading my way.  I prayed, "Please, God, just let the rain hold off for 15 minutes!"  (I really wanted to make it home before it started to pour.)

God proved once again that He answers prayers, and that He does have a sense of humor...  It didn't rain until exactly 15 minutes after my fervent prayer.  Unfortunately, it took me 16 minutes to get home.

I guess I should have been more specific in my request.  :D

I'm Good Enough... I'm Smart Enough...

...and DOGGONE IT!  People LIKE me!!! 

At least, that's how I felt after I arrived home from work yesterday to discover that I had won a free month of rent!!! 

I suppose in order to fully comprehend the magnitude of the situation, you must first understand that I never win anything.  Like ever.  Until last year, the only thing I had ever won was a moldy fruit basket.  And believe you me, I was thrilled silly about that moldy fruit basket!  The basket itself (minus the moldy fruit) has been proudly displayed on top of my kitchen cabinets for the past seven years.

I think my luck started to change last year.  I won a prize or two playing games at baby showers and home sales shows.  Then the Christmas party at my foster care agency came around, and they started announcing the winners of the door prizes.  I was totally not paying attention.  "Why should I," I thought.  "I never win anything anyway."  So imagine my surprise when I looked up to see what felt like 1,000 pairs of eyes staring at me and the Director of the agency saying, "Tammy?  That's your name, Tammy."  :-)

That's when I did the whole jumping up out of my seat, clapping for myself, alternately giggling and crying, Miss America, waving my hand in front of my face so I didn't pass out, loudly exclaiming, "OMG!  I can't believe it!  I never win anything!" thing.  I had to restrain myself from doing the Miss America wave ("elbow, elbow... wrist, wrist, wrist...  fingers, fingers...  kiss, kiss, kiss") as I received my prize and headed back to my seat.

"What on earth did you win that had you so excited," you might ask?  A $20 gift card to Walmart...  I can only imagine what my reaction would have been had I won a high-dollar prize!  As it is, I have a feeling no one at that party is going to forget me anytime soon.  =)

Fast forward to yesterday afternoon...  I'd had a long day at work, and I was soooo looking forward to kicking off my shoes, stripping off my bra, throwing on some pj's, and lounging around the house for a few hours.  I got out of the car and rounded the corner of my building only to be greeted with a bright red, folded piece of paper with my apartment number on it on the little memo clip by the front door.  "Oh, crap.  What did I do now?"  I mentally played back the past few weeks in my head...  Had I paid the water bill?  Did I short pay rent?  Was the cat being too loud when he tears around the house after going to the bathroom?  All I could think was that red was not a good color when it comes to announcements. 

I pulled the paper off of the door and stepped inside.  I braved up and went to read it, only to discover that it was STAPLED too!  "Oh, sweet crap!!!  Am I being evicted or something?!?"  I, ever so slowly, unfolded the note and was greeted with...

Congratulations, Tamara S...!

You are the WINNER

of one FREE MONTH OF RENT!!!

I squealed and jumped around like a little girl, which in turn terrified the cat, whose hair stood up on his back as he jumped about five feet straight up from the floor.  I half expected to see him clinging from the ceiling in a desperate attempt to escape me in all of my hyperventilating glory.  Instead, he just ran and hid under the computer desk and eyed me warily until I calmed down and composed myself.

You have no idea how excited I am.  This ends up being about $900 going straight into my "Buying a Baby Fund" (as my newphew calls it)!  With this and what I already have in there from the past few weeks, I should have enough for my homestudy after my next paycheck!  I'm going to wait a little while before I do the homestudy though because it's only good for 6 months, and I'd just have to come up with another $500 to update it.  I am so happy that things are starting to pick up in the adoption fundraising area though.  This was a great little boost!  I'm still doing a mental happy dance!  =)

So go ahead and feel free to bask in the warmth of my radiant glow!  Maybe my newfound good fortune will rub off and everyone will be blessed with the "lucky bug."  We can dream anyway...  :-)

I Am a Comment Whore

Yes, I'll admit it.  I'll do just about anything for comments on my blog.  I usually feel like I should be standing on some street corner in my "sexy clothes" saying things like, "Hey baby...  Leave me a comment, and I'll show you a real good time..."  ;-)

It became very apparent how much I craved the attention desired the interaction from my readers this morning when I logged in and saw that exciting little link that said that I had a comment that needed to be moderated.  "OMG!!!  I HAVE A COMMENT!!!  I HAVE A COMMENT!!!  I LOVE COMMENTS!!!"  It was a great one too!  It said how she was crying because she was laughing so hard and that she really thought I needed to publish a coffee table book.  I felt all warm and fuzzy inside when I hit the "Publish" button.  And then the comment completely disappeared!!!  "NOOOO!!!"  I almost cried.  Now I have nothing to show for all of my hard work.  :(

I'm not quite sure where the need for constant compliments positive feedback and acknowledgement that someone is actually reading the blog comes from, but I'll admit that it does make me feel good to know that other people are reading and enjoying my stuff.  It keeps me motivated.  Unfortunately, now that I've been writing almost every day, my friends and family are a wee bit terrified to hang out with me.  I don't get it!  They're the ones who keep telling me that I need to publish a book of my blog!  They all say how they love that I have the ability to turn mundane, everyday living into something funny, but I think they really mean that they love it when I turn my mundane, everyday living into something funny.  :-)  I just tell them that we all need to suck it up and take one for the team!  One day, my little blog will be famous, and they can say "I knew her when..."  ;-) 

I've written about the Blog Bug before.  About how Tammy in "writer mode" is 1,000 times more sarcastic and on the lookout for inspiration than Tammy in "everyday mode."  (and Tammy in "everyday mode" is pretty high up on the dry wit meter)  But seriously...  You've got to be able to laugh at yourself and not take things too seriously or you'll just be miserable and embarrassed all the time (or I would at least.  I tend to have lots of "blond moments of the non-blond")!  And I do have some deeper and more meaningful posts quite a bit, so I think the blog is fairly well-rounded.

But I do so love the comments!!!  I love it when you guys answer my questions and continue the "conversations."  It's always interesting to get different perspectives on things and to learn from other people's experiences.  And, of course, the compliments and raving reviews aren't too bad for the ego either.  :-)

Weather Girl

Recently, I have become the go-to Weather Girl at the office.  While I have no official training in meteorology, my co-workers and I strongly believe that I have a much more reliable and accurate forecasting system in place than the area's trained professionals.  I'm not sure if there is a technical term for it, but I call it...

"My Leg Hurts"

Yep!  Ever since I broke my leg, it hurts like a mother whenever it is about to rain!  Now, when we have cloudy skies, the girls at work inevitably ask me whether or not they should go roll up the windows in their cars rather than consult The Weather Channel. 

I used to feel so good that everyone seemed so concerned about how I was healing.  "How's your leg, Tammy?"  "Your leg doesn't hurt too bad today, does it Tammy?"  It wasn't until recently that I discovered that their apparent concern for my well-being was merely a ploy to determine whether or not it was going to rain.

I think the true extent of my "abilities" became clear a few weeks ago when a group of co-workers and I decided to walk a couple of blocks to go to lunch.  My leg had been bothering me that day, but I chose to ignore it, tough it up, and walk to the restaurant with the girls.  When we got outside and saw the ominous-looking clouds in the distance, I made an off-handed comment about how I really hoped we didn't get caught in the rain.  I even made a joke about how my leg was hurting more than usual.  We all laughed.

That is to say, we all laughed...  Until we stood up to leave the restaurant to walk back to work and discovered the torrential downpour that was occurring outside.  As the six of us huddled helplessly under the cover of the patio wondering how the heck we were going to get back to the office with only one umbrella between us, I (of course) just had to open my smart mouth and say, "I told you my leg hurt."  ;-)

After weighing our options, the consensus was that the least embarrassing solution was for me to call Katie and see if she would come get us.  Unfortunately she (and the couple of other so-called "friends" that we tried to call ;-) wouldn't answer her phone.  We finally admitted defeat, gave in, and Cheryl called our boss.  He was waiting for our call, and offered to come pick us up.  :-)

By the time Cheryl hung up the phone, the rain had let up to a light shower, so Carole (the keeper of the lone umbrella), and Cheryl and I (the two morons who decided that we weren't made of sugar and therefore wouldn't melt) decided to go ahead and walk back.  Cheryl called our boss once more and told him not to worry about driving over.  Carole was going to get her car and drive back to pick up the other three who stayed behind at the restaurant.

The three of us set out on our rainy adventure back to work...  Cheryl and I in all of our stupidity, and Carole holding her lightning rod high above her head...  (For the life of me, I've never been able to understand why the inventor of the umbrella thought it was a good idea to hold a metal pole over our head during a thunderstorm!  As far as I'm concerned, that's just asking for trouble!)  We made it back to the office, and Carole hopped in her car to head out to rescue the island castaways. 

Cheryl and I (in all of our drowned-rat glory) sauntered up the stairs...  and promptly ran into our boss who actually had the nerve to laugh at us!  The little snot (and I say that with all of the love and respect in the world :-) even had the nerve to say (with a mischievous grin), "I thought about saying something when you guys left for lunch, but then I thought 'Nooooo...'  I'm just gonna sit by the phone, wait for their call, and then make fun of them when they finally do."  Mmm-hmmm...  Nice. 

We didn't realize just how infamous our little field trip had become until about a week later.  Cheryl was talking to a co-worker from an entirely different department when she casually mentioned getting stuck in the rain the week before.  Our co-worker loudly exclaimed, "Oh my gosh!!!  That was you guys?!?  That story is legendary!  Everybody's talking about it!"  I think if Cheryl had a good throwing object handy I might have found myself on the receiving end of a projectile to the head.  "Tammy!" she yelled...  "You see what happens when you post stuff on Facebook?!?"  (Just wait until she reads my blog! :-)

After our lunchtime adventure in the rain, and my seemingly uncanny premonition that it would happen, the girls were a bit intrigued the following week when I said, "You know...  My leg's hurting today.  I think it's gonna rain."  They weren't quite ready to fully-embrace my new magical power just yet, but when the floodgates opened that night, they were all believers.  :-)

While I've only had a few opportunities to prove my newfound ability (It is nearing summer in Texas, you know...  Not much rain around here anymore.), so far I have proven to be correct every time I venture out to predict that day's chance of precipitation.  I now answer questions about the status of my recovery with, "Go roll up your windows." or "It's not gonna rain."

(*** Note - Names have not been changed to protect the innocent.  If I'm going down...  We're all going down! ***)

Terror in the Water

It was a frightening day in the water.  Children cowered behind their fathers and mothers and screamed in terror as the great albino whale neared.  The waves caused by the giant beast were massive.  Almost tsunami-like in their nature...  The undertow formed in the wake of the gigantic creature was so strong that not even the most highly qualified members of Coast Guard Rescue could successfully maneuver it.  The glare of the sun off of the sea mammal's snow-white skin was blinding to any who dared look directly at it. 

No...  This terror-filled event did not occur on any populated beach on this particular occasion, but rather in my very own community swimming pool as I bravely donned my swimsuit and hoisted my pasty white, over-sized self into the water for the first time last weekend.

I tried to warn them!  I really did!  But try explaining the concept of water displacement to a couple of eager 5-year-olds who desperately want to go swimming at their Aunt Tammy's house.  It's 100 degrees outside, and I'm the only one with free access to a built-in pool.  So the great albino whale emerged in all her glory and took the kiddos for an afternoon swim.

Twins and I had a great time!  I'm not too sure about the other unsuspecting pool patrons though.  I believe I heard cries of "Sweet Gracious, the glare!!!  I can't see!!!  I can't see!!!"  And there was something about being "caught in its wake" that I didn't quite catch.  However, I did seem to be rather popular with the children as I was apparently creating a "lazy river" effect as I walked around the pool.

A week has passed since I traumatized my neighbors, so I think I will bravely gear up again tomorrow and enjoy the afternoon heat swimming in my community pool once more.  Perhaps I should choreograph a routine and charge admission for a "Shamu"-like performance!  Who needs to drive 5 hours to Sea World when you have "TAMU...  THE GREAT ALBINO WHALE!?!"

I Don't Do Blue

We all have our odd little idiosyncrasies...  Those strange little quirks that we think make us endearing to others, but that really just make people look at us like we're completely off our rockers...  "What's yours, Mimi?" you might ask.  Well, I'll tell you! 

I don't eat blue food.

Now, this isn't something that I just blurt out of the blue.  I don't meet people and immediately announce, "I don't eat anything blue."  That would just be crazy.  It usually comes up during gatherings where cake with blue frosting is present.  I politely decline, and everyone looks at me like I've grown a third eyeball for turning down a perfectly good piece of cake.  I then have to quietly explain my theory on blue food, which inevitably leads to knowing smiles, little nods, and people asking, "Sweetie, have you taken your meds today?"

My theory?  "If we were supposed to eat blue food, God would have given us something blue in nature that is edible!"  (And blueberries don't count because, technically, they are supposed to be close to purple before they're ready to eat.)

Think about it!  Seriously!  Can you think of blue foods that occur naturally???  I can't!  So why create blue food just for the sake of making it blue?!?  It's just not right, I tell you!!!  It inevitably turns your mouth, tongue, and teeth strange colors and you can't go out in public for hours without looking like a fool!

As my freaky quirk became more well-known at work, my co-workers started getting really excited any time they saw me with M&Ms, Sweethearts, or other candy with blue in the mix. They would hang around my desk, eyeing the blue pile as I separated the candy, knowing that it was about to be up for grabs. They had a field day every time Halloween rolled around because they knew that blue candy would be plentiful at Mimi's desk.

I then realized that my aversion to eating anything blue might be a little more well-known than I thought about nine years ago when I was hanging out with my 2-year-old cousin.  He was snacking on his absolute favorite snack...  Little gummy fruit chew things ("buggies" as he called them), and I asked him if I could have one.  He looked thoughtful for a moment, and then he proceeded to hand me several of them with a huge smile on his face.  Unfortunately, it wasn't the smile of a 2-year-old proud of himself for selflessly sharing his favorite snack with his favorite cousin.  It was the "I'm so much smarter than you" evil smirk of a child who apparently knew that I didn't eat anything blue.  Because the handful of "buggies" that he held out to me was entirely comprised of only the blue ones.  Little snot!

In my "Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue" quest, however, I decided to brave up and give something blue a try.  Hence, my experience with "The Blue Thing" margarita at The Movie Tavern. 

I think I was able to forget about it's "blueness" because it was dark in the theater, and the tequila helped me not really care if my entire face was blue by the time I was halfway finished with it.  :-)  It was actually pretty good!  And I was rather proud of myself for having consumed a beverage that clearly wasn't made the natural way.

My Newest Addiction

Hi...  My name is Mimi, and I'm addicted to Scentsy.

It's a sickness, really...  One for which I should probably seek some sort of psychological or medical intervention...  But OMG!  Those tiny little squares of smelly goodness just make me so happy!!!

Growing up, my mom had always been what we like to refer to as a "Tiny Flame Pyromaniac."  She always had candles going around the house.  The house smelled great, and her obsession with good smelly wax transferred onto my sister and me.  We've both been known to have multiple candles burning throughout the house at any given time.  ...and then we had children, and we didn't know what to do!  How do we enjoy our obsession with hot wax that makes your entire house smell like a bakery when there are little people wanting to play with the flame?!?  There are only so many high, out of reach places where you can leave lighted candles!

...Enter - SCENTSY!!!...

So "What is Scentsy?" you might ask...  OMG!  "Only the best, most amazingly innovative invention since the airplane," I say!  It's a cross between potpourri and a candle warmer without all of the watery mess of potpourri or the frustration of the "hidden candle wick" after you heat up a jar candle on a warmer.  They have super-pretty electric burners and dozens and dozens of fantastically amazing scents that come in little wax bars.  You just put a couple of squares from the bar into the "pot" on the burner and PRESTO!  Your entire house smells like you've been baking cookies or have fresh-cut flowers in every room!

I had a feeling that I was going to be in serious trouble when I went to my first Scentsy party at Katie's house right before Christmas.  I left there $80 poorer and anxiously-awaiting my three Scentsy Plug-In Packages (Yes!  They even have plug-in warmers!)  I ordered a package for myself, one for my mom, and one for Christy to try out in the hope that this super-cool product would prevent us from eventually burning down our houses with our "tiny flame pyromaniac" tendencies.  We loved them!

Then Katie hits me up with, "I think I'm going to start selling Scentsy myself."  Being the fantastic BFF that I am, I naturally had to be the hostess of her very first party.  Sales were great, and as hostess, I ended up with about $80 worth of free merchandise as well as four other items at 50% off.  I left that party another $80 poorer and the proud owner of about half of the 80 available scents and four additional warmers.  (I'm beginning to see a theme here with the "80"s) 

A few weeks later, I fell victim again when I received an email about the "Warmer of the Month."  It was so cute!  And it wasn't like any of the other warmers in the catalog.   I had to have it...  I also just had to have the "Scent of the Month" (along with a warmer for my office and five other scents that I hadn't seen at the previous parties).  "JUST SAY 'NO,' TAMMY!!!"  But, alas...  $80 later, I was the proud owner of the oh-so-adorable bird nest warmer of the month...

Things seemed to settle down for a little while.  I hadn't made any Scentsy purchases in a month or so.  I'm sure Katie was beginning to freak out a bit because I do believe that I have single-handedly kept her business going.  And that's when it came...  Another email from Scentsy Heaven... 

Bringing back 20 Retired Scents for July only!!!

I see where this is headed, and it's not pretty.  I really could have used that $80.