Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Random Ramblings #2

After further contemplation, I have decided that it is not so much sweating that I dislike as it is the exercising itself. (See Blog entitled Random Ramblings #1) I am perfectly content to sit in a piping hot, steamy sauna and sweat my booty off for an hour as long as I don't have to move.  Exercising, on the other hand, SUCKS!!!

This is especially true for chunky ladies. All of that wobbling and jiggling... I really think fat people exercising should post disclaimers on their backs to warn off unsuspecting souls. "Santa Claus Belly Jiggling Ahead. Beware!" We could hurt someone! I've decided this is why I don't exercise. I'm only thinking of others.

Then there's that whole "day after" thing where places of your body hurt that you didn't even know you had. Who would have thought that working out would make your BOOBS hurt, for crying out loud?!? What's up with THAT?!?

Yeah... I'd much rather just lay there in the sauna for an hour or two and sweat it out than have to flop my way around on the treadmill. We'll see how long my "sweating it out" theory works. I'll probably HAVE to start moving eventually. But in the meantime... Just let me take a nap in a 130 degree steam sauna and wake up 3 pounds lighter.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Rude Awakening

I was watching The Biggest Loser the other day, reveling in the fact that I would be "the skinny girl" on the show. (You have to gets your jollies somehow.) I was in for a rude awakening during the weigh-in, however, when I realized, "HOLY CRAP!!! That fat chick weighs LESS THAN ME now!!!" I guess WATCHING big people exercise on TV doesn't count as exercise.

Fat Class (aka.Weight Watchers at Work), here I come! Fat Lady Gym, I will once again be entering your doors. Let's hope lightening doesn't strike. Run, Chunky Lady, RUN LIKE THE WIND!!! I might even pay Skinny Bitch (see last year's blog) to yell at me. She was awful, but my massive booty ran. She was scary.

So if you feel the earth trembling beneath your feet, never fear! It's just me with my Santa Claus belly running on the treadmill. If you see me munching on celery, trying to convince you that "It's YUMMY!" just humor me and agree. And if I don't show up to work for a while, check the local jails. I might have assaulted Skinny Bitch. WISH ME LUCK!!!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Shaking Depression

I'm trying... I'm trying so hard to shake this depression that I've been in for the past year. The battle between logical reasoning and my knee-jerk emotional reactions to situations has definitely taken a toll on me. It's difficult having reactions that are so completely out of proportion to what they should be. "It's a flat Diet Coke for crying out loud! It's NOT the END OF THE WORLD!!!"

I try to hide it as much as I can, but I completely break down when I'm alone. I make jokes about being "crazy" because I'll lose it otherwise. My normal, organized OCD personality is completely gone, and it's all I can do to force myself to check the mail or take out the trash. My house is a mess, my desk is a mess, my purse is a mess, and at this point, it's all so overwhelming I just want to throw it all away and start over. (I actually got a new checking account so I wouldn't have to balance my old one.)

I know so many of my friends and family have been worried about me, and I really do appreciate all of the support even if I can't always show it. Just know that I'm trying to shake this. They're not kidding when they say that depression affects everyone. I know how worried you all are. I'm trying... Just bear with me a while longer. The doctor is working on me, and I'm doing my best to work on myself...

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