Sunday, June 6, 2010

Terror in the Water

It was a frightening day in the water.  Children cowered behind their fathers and mothers and screamed in terror as the great albino whale neared.  The waves caused by the giant beast were massive.  Almost tsunami-like in their nature...  The undertow formed in the wake of the gigantic creature was so strong that not even the most highly qualified members of Coast Guard Rescue could successfully maneuver it.  The glare of the sun off of the sea mammal's snow-white skin was blinding to any who dared look directly at it. 

No...  This terror-filled event did not occur on any populated beach on this particular occasion, but rather in my very own community swimming pool as I bravely donned my swimsuit and hoisted my pasty white, over-sized self into the water for the first time last weekend.

I tried to warn them!  I really did!  But try explaining the concept of water displacement to a couple of eager 5-year-olds who desperately want to go swimming at their Aunt Tammy's house.  It's 100 degrees outside, and I'm the only one with free access to a built-in pool.  So the great albino whale emerged in all her glory and took the kiddos for an afternoon swim.

Twins and I had a great time!  I'm not too sure about the other unsuspecting pool patrons though.  I believe I heard cries of "Sweet Gracious, the glare!!!  I can't see!!!  I can't see!!!"  And there was something about being "caught in its wake" that I didn't quite catch.  However, I did seem to be rather popular with the children as I was apparently creating a "lazy river" effect as I walked around the pool.

A week has passed since I traumatized my neighbors, so I think I will bravely gear up again tomorrow and enjoy the afternoon heat swimming in my community pool once more.  Perhaps I should choreograph a routine and charge admission for a "Shamu"-like performance!  Who needs to drive 5 hours to Sea World when you have "TAMU...  THE GREAT ALBINO WHALE!?!"


~Katie said...

OMG- You are hilarious!!!! hahahaaa.

Leah W said...

i live in michigan, i am white as a ghost 11 out of 12 months a year. i love the sun but it doesn't love me. i love the pool, but my bathing suit does not love me either :)

Tammy said...

After today's swimming adventure, I have decided to dub myself "Tamu." I still think I should charge admission... ;-)

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