OMG!!! Now I know why it really takes me so long to get placements! All this time I thought it was because I'm a single, full-time working mom. Oh no, my friends! After reading the mess they made of my homestudy, I'm not sure that I would place a child with me!!! The entire thing was an editor's nightmare (or dream, depending on how much one likes using red pens to make corrections). I am highly tempted to revise the whole thing myself, turn it back in, and then offer to do the same for the other families at the agency. Honestly, you would think after taking nearly two months to write it in the first place, she would have at least been able to form a coherent sentence and not repeat herself twenty times. (Homestudy lady is no longer with my agency, although I doubt that's why.)
If one could completely ignore the horrifically-written mess of my homestudy, I'm not sure they could ignore its content. I suppose for the most part, if a stranger was reading it, they wouldn't know any better. I, on the other hand, am left shaking my head and wondering where on earth she came up with some of this stuff!
- They have me living in a non-existent address. Not a problem, I suppose... Until the caseworker tries to come to my house!
- "Mimi describes herself as stubborn, friendly, helpful, reserved, a good listener, and a good judge of character." Um, yes. I did say all of that, but could we perhaps not lead with "stubborn?!?" As practically the first sentence of the homestudy, I'm thinking saying that "this foster mom says she's stubborn" is probably not going to win over any potential caseworkers.
- I "appear mentally sound with no issues." Praise, indeed! I know that would win me over!
- "Mimi would take the children to the doctor." Isn't that a given?
- "No family members will be allowed to run around the home nude, as Mimi believes that nudity has a time and a place." Oh. My. Word. Thank you for pointing out that I won't be running around my house naked in front of my foster kids. I'm fairly certain my response to the "nudity" question was that everyone will dress in their own rooms or bathrooms with the doors closed. I don't recall mentioning running around the home all wild and free...
After reading so much that had me shaking my head in wonder, I came across the one thing that had me immediately sending an email to Nice Lady and telling her that this must be corrected ASAP. There on the page that documents all of my safety plans is what they determined was this potential foster mama's idea of a safe evacuation plan for myself and my infants and toddlers in the event of a fire.
"As stated by Mimi, once children are placed in the home, they will be made aware of what they should do should the home catch fire. She will inform them they are all to run across the street and out of danger of the fire."Um... NO!!! I didn't say anything of the sort! My kids are infants and toddlers! I can just see it now, "RUN, Monkey, RUN!!! RUN your little 17-month-old self across the busy street!!! At least you'll be safe from the fire." Ugh! It's no wonder I can't get a placement based off of my homestudy! I look like an idiot! (But not a naked idiot, because I agree not to run around my house nude!)
Fortunately, Nice Lady was just as appalled as I was and assured me that they would update my fire evacuation plan ASAP. While that doesn't save the rest of the document, at least no one can accuse me of making my toddlers fend for themselves and play in traffic in the event of a fire.