Thursday, August 30, 2012

The "Go To" Girl for Foster/Adopt Infants

It's funny how things change after four years of fostering.  When I first started out, I remember begging my agency to find me a baby.  It took four months before I got my first placement.  Four years later, having developed relationships with caseworkers, CASA volunteers, GALs, my children's teachers, etc. it seems I am the "go to" girl for placing babies.

If you don't follow Trippin' on FB, you probably don't know the latest development in my string of "there's this baby, and I thought of you..." moments.  Ever since Monkey was returned to his daddy back in March, I have had multiple phone calls from people with "potential" foster/adopt situations...  all outside the "norm" as far as how regular placements work.  I think everyone is now bound and determined to get me a baby.  More specifically, a baby that I can actually keep!

It all started back in April when I received an out of the blue phone call from the Invisible One.  She was in court, and was in the midst of a conversation with one of the GALs about two separate cases where the babies needed foster-to-adopt homes.  One was a newborn in the NICU.  The other was an 11-month-old little girl whose TPR hearing is scheduled in October.  She told the GAL about me and apparently just sang my praises.  I said "no" to the newborn because the baby has to be old enough for daycare, but I said "absolutely!" to the 11-month-old.  It's a very slow process, but the last I heard is that I am one of a few families still "being considered" for her.

Since then, I've received several potential placement calls from my agency.  I've received calls from friends and family with conversations that start out like, "So I know this person whose relative's baby is about to go into foster care, and I told them about you."  People tend to call me when they have questions about foster care and for specific cases, and the conversation usually ends with something along the lines of "Well, if CPS does step in, at least we know a great foster mom!"

Most recently, the Invisible One called me on Tuesday to tell me about a 7-week-old baby boy who is on her caseload who she'd like to have moved into an adoptive home (meaning mine).  She didn't give many details because she was in a rush, but from what I could gather it's a pretty messy case.  It's still very early in the case, but she is fairly certain it will end in TPR and adoption and she doesn't want him to be in a foster-only home for very long.  After I got that little bit (along with a few hurried case details), she exclaims "I'll call you back!" and promptly hangs up.  I haven't heard from her since.  She didn't earn her name of "Invisible One" for no reason.

So here I sit, two days later, impatient as all get out!!!  I emailed yesterday right after I initially spoke to her (just a quick "I'm so excited to hear more!" email so she'd remember that she talked to me).  I tried calling her yesterday afternoon, but her voicemail was full.  This morning, I emailed her again:
"Girl, I'm DYING here!  Don't tease me with a baby and not call me back!  ;-P  Are we talking 'there's a really good chance of this happening,' or is it more like 'it MIGHT possibly MAYBE happen if...'  I've got baby fever BAD. (If you couldn't tell... :-)"
Fortunately, the Invisible One responds well to casual, friendly banter so I'm hopeful she'll get back to me sooner rather than later.  I just want to find out if she thinks this move will actually happen, or if it's just one of those "would you be interested if..." kind of things.  I am out of my mind fiending for a new placement, but I am trying so hard to be patient and wait until after Baby Girl's TPR hearing in October before I open back up.  With my luck, if I took a new foster placement now, they'd call me in a month and tell me that they've chosen me to adopt Baby Girl.  Then the Invisible One will call and ask "when can I bring you Baby Boy?"  With Monkey still with me half of the week, I would be able to rival the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe!

So this is me...  Trying desperately to have a little patience...  But I have to admit I am currently composing a broadcast email to everyone who has mentioned a "possible" baby to me telling them that I have room for no more than two (plus Monkey).  I draw the line!  ___________________  You see that?!?  That's the line!  No more than three kiddos total!  First come, first served!  There's only one of me, and I don't own a bus!  (However, if anyone knows of a good deal on a bus... ;-)

1 comment:

Carolyn said...

Hey, I just read your post. Thanks for sharing. I hope to foster to adopt sooner rather than later. Since you posted this over a year ago now, I am interested to hear how everything worked out.
I went through the roller coaster ride when my own (adopted, FAS) sister offered to give me her baby, knowing that she couldn't care for him herself, only to turn around and leave him with another family member, despite the rest of the family's protests. I am comforted, at least, with the knowledge that he is well taken care of. It's a lot harder to lose a placement to someone whose parenting is more questionable, but I know it still happens. However, I think this experience helped me learn more about myself and what I can handle. I didn't think I could handle foster care before this.

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