Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I Don't Do Blue

We all have our odd little idiosyncrasies...  Those strange little quirks that we think make us endearing to others, but that really just make people look at us like we're completely off our rockers...  "What's yours, Mimi?" you might ask.  Well, I'll tell you! 

I don't eat blue food.

Now, this isn't something that I just blurt out of the blue.  I don't meet people and immediately announce, "I don't eat anything blue."  That would just be crazy.  It usually comes up during gatherings where cake with blue frosting is present.  I politely decline, and everyone looks at me like I've grown a third eyeball for turning down a perfectly good piece of cake.  I then have to quietly explain my theory on blue food, which inevitably leads to knowing smiles, little nods, and people asking, "Sweetie, have you taken your meds today?"

My theory?  "If we were supposed to eat blue food, God would have given us something blue in nature that is edible!"  (And blueberries don't count because, technically, they are supposed to be close to purple before they're ready to eat.)

Think about it!  Seriously!  Can you think of blue foods that occur naturally???  I can't!  So why create blue food just for the sake of making it blue?!?  It's just not right, I tell you!!!  It inevitably turns your mouth, tongue, and teeth strange colors and you can't go out in public for hours without looking like a fool!

As my freaky quirk became more well-known at work, my co-workers started getting really excited any time they saw me with M&Ms, Sweethearts, or other candy with blue in the mix. They would hang around my desk, eyeing the blue pile as I separated the candy, knowing that it was about to be up for grabs. They had a field day every time Halloween rolled around because they knew that blue candy would be plentiful at Mimi's desk.

I then realized that my aversion to eating anything blue might be a little more well-known than I thought about nine years ago when I was hanging out with my 2-year-old cousin.  He was snacking on his absolute favorite snack...  Little gummy fruit chew things ("buggies" as he called them), and I asked him if I could have one.  He looked thoughtful for a moment, and then he proceeded to hand me several of them with a huge smile on his face.  Unfortunately, it wasn't the smile of a 2-year-old proud of himself for selflessly sharing his favorite snack with his favorite cousin.  It was the "I'm so much smarter than you" evil smirk of a child who apparently knew that I didn't eat anything blue.  Because the handful of "buggies" that he held out to me was entirely comprised of only the blue ones.  Little snot!

In my "Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue" quest, however, I decided to brave up and give something blue a try.  Hence, my experience with "The Blue Thing" margarita at The Movie Tavern. 

I think I was able to forget about it's "blueness" because it was dark in the theater, and the tequila helped me not really care if my entire face was blue by the time I was halfway finished with it.  :-)  It was actually pretty good!  And I was rather proud of myself for having consumed a beverage that clearly wasn't made the natural way.


Donna said...

I can only think of one blue food... the blue corn they make the blue tortilla chips from... don't know if they're natural or not. Once when we were kids, we 'surprised' my mother by dying the milk green on St Patrick's Day. She wouldn't put it in her coffee, but made us use it in our cereal, and it tasted terrible! Have you ever had a Blue Coyote? yummy!

onemorebaby said...

HA! I don't do mint or lemon... and those DO occur naturally (of course!) but now the toothpaste people and cleaning product industry have ruined it for me... Oh, add oranges to that mix! Geesh!

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