You know you have a bad case of baby fever when you have to stop yourself from asking the pregnant teen carhop at Sonic if she would consider letting you adopt her baby. I swear, it took every ounce of willpower in me not to ask, "So... What'ya gonna do with it after it's out?"
I'm having a really hard time with Mother's Day looming right around the corner. For the second year in a row, I'm a mom without my kids. Last Mother's Day, I was between placements. The Immobile Munchkin had been moved to her new home (which is still working out fantastically, I might add :), and I was impatiently awaiting the Booger Bear's arrival. This year is even harder because I've been a mom to Booger Bear and Angel for nearly a year, and now they're gone. I was a mom for a year, and I don't even get to see my kids on the one day that's supposed to be special for moms. Even if I do get a placement between now and then, it won't make up for the fact that I don't get to be with the two of them.
I'm just having a serious case of the "it's not fairs," the "woe is me's," the "why is it thats," etc. It's not fair! Why is it that there people like me who want to be parents so badly and who would be great parents, but can't have children? Why is it that there are people who have absolutely no business having babies, but are popping them out like PEZ dispensers? I don't get it.
But on the other hand, the one thing that I am sure of is that fostering is what I am meant to do. God never would have put this in my heart if He didn't mean for me to throw myself into it with all that I am. My sister is a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and I have to agree. If I had been able to get pregnant, I probably would have gone that route. If I could have afforded a private adoption, I probably would have done that. Instead, God put speedbumps and detours along the way that led me to foster care. And as hard as it is, it is absolutely worth it. Fostering has already brought three amazing kids into my life. Three kids who I never would have met or loved if I hadn't listened to what God was telling me to do...
So I guess I should stop feeling sorry for myself because I'll get to be "mom" to dozens of kids before I'm through! How many women can actually say that? (Except for Mama Duggar maybe) :D Maybe one of these years, I'll actually have some of them with me on Mother's Day. Who knows... Maybe God will send me my next kiddo this week, but if not I'll just remind myself that I've been "mom" to three unbelievable children, and I hope they know how much I love them and how blessed I feel to have had them in my life.
*** Wow! This is exactly what I needed to see today! So many people ask, "How/why do you do foster care?" This puts it into words. ***