Monday, May 21, 2012

I Had a Stalker, and He Smelled Funky!

I was being followed. 

I couldn't actually see him, but I knew he was there. 

You know how you get that feeling that something is just off?  Like you're being watched?  That feeling that makes you turn around and look behind you every few steps?  Well, I had that exact feeling the other day!

It started right after I left my house to head to work.  I got in my car, and immediately I knew something wasn't right.  There was an odor in my car that I just couldn't place.  I started to look around thinking that maybe I had accidentally left a fast food bag of food or missed a bag of groceries that were now rotting in the hot car.  Finding nothing, I thought "OMG!  Did I leave the car unlocked?  Did a homeless person sleep in my backseat?!?"  By the time I arrived at work, I had pretty much resigned myself to thinking that a field mouse or some other small critter had crawled up in my engine and met its demise.

I didn't give the smell another thought until I stepped into the restroom at the office.  The smell was back!  Clearly someone was following me!  It was the only explanation!  I quickly ran into a stall and locked myself in.  I waited for a bit until the last person left the restroom, and I bolted back to my desk.

Throughout the remainder of the day, that smell came and went.  It followed me everywhere.  In the file room, in the copy room, in the elevator...  By the time I got home, I was freaking out!  I had a stalker!!!  I ran into the apartment and locked the deadbolt.  I turned and leaned against the locked door, finally safe inside my home.  I knew that funky-smelling stalker wasn't in my house because he was clearly hiding in my car.

Finally ready to let my guard down, I kicked off my shoes to settle in for a relaxing evening...  And I was hit full-force with an odor that made my eyes water by its sheer power.

Yep...  I had a stalker...  and he smelled funky!!!

My "stalker" was last year's summer shoes.

(*** Note to self...  Replace summer shoes yearly!!! ***)

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