- When making the spur-of-the-moment decision to "just throw on yesterday's jeans and run to the store," it might be wise to make certain they aren't the same jeans that the baby peed on. Just sayin'.
- The Walmart door greeter probably isn't going to appreciate your snarky sense of humor. When she asks, "Is he your first?!?" and you reply "Oh goodness, I've totally lost count. He's the only one living with me full-time though," she's probably going to stare in horror or confusion as you walk away.
- Only buy infant pajamas that have a full zipper or snaps entirely up the front. Believe me when I say you do not want to have to attempt to pull pjs over your baby's head after a 3:00am diaper blow-out. I have done the whole "cut the clothing off of the baby" thing in order to avoid that, but it's kind of a bummer when you really like the outfit.
- Always be aware of those times when the baby is not with you, and adjust your speech and actions accordingly. Standing up at the office and announcing, "Mama's gotta go potty. I'll be right back" will probably result in chuckles and taunts from your co-workers. Absentmindedly taking a tissue to your boss' nose after he sneezes... Probably not wise. Always be aware of those times you are childless!
- When the obnoxious single dad in the WIC office begins complaining, LOUDLY, about how long it is taking for the tenth time in only fifteen minutes, it would probably not be the brightest decision to start singing the "Have Patience" song just as loudly. Others might find it amusing. Him, probably not so much. ;-)
Have patience, have patience
Don't be in such a hurry.
When you get impatient, you only start to worry.
Remember, remember that God is patient, too...
And think of all the times when others have to wait for you.
Yes, these are just a few of the things that I thought I should write down. Some things are too important to forget. And remembering not to make jokes about not knowing what your baby's father looks like with the elderly church ladies would probably be one of them.