Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I'm So Ashamed...

It was a fairly uneventful day today. Paid lots and lots of bills, fixed all sorts of messes that came up while I was sick, and "saved lives by making transfusion possible" seeing as how that's my job and all... I did, however, get my name on the board for talking too much (Thanks a lot, Katie!). There was NO ONE at work today, so I was on the phone a lot while I was coding the 10,000 invoices that I get every week. I'm very talented at multi-tasking. Apparently though, I talked too much, or I didn't use my "library voice" as stated in the Cubicle Etiquette Handbook, thus resulting in what I believe is my third demerit for the month of February.

My first "implied via ESP" demerit was most likely bestowed upon me when I neglected to give proper two week written notice of a completely unpredictable illness. I say "implied via ESP" because no one actually said anything to me about it, but I am almost certain there were discussions while I was bedridden for nearly a week. I doubt I will hear anything at all until I have hit demerit number five, and am sent to trial do determine whether or not I am to be publicly flogged in the breakroom.

I think demerit number two was thrown my way yesterday when I failed to get a potty pass. Again, no words were spoken, but I did receive "looks" when I arose from my chair, left the confines of my cubicle, and exited the department without announcing in a loud, clearly enunciated voice that I "HAD TO GO POTTY" and putting up my big orange sign that says something along the lines of "Tammy is in the 3rd stall on the left in the upstairs women's restroom if you want to hound her before she comes back in no more than two minutes." I'm not really sure what happens at two minutes and one second, but I think they come to the stall and request your badge so they can go to the timeclock and clock you out until you return to be shackled to your desk.

I just can't wait to see what they come up with next! It's always so exciting! I should probably go ahead and tell them now that I do plan to retire in 30 years. I just hope that's enough notice! I just love my job. It's so rewarding, and it makes me feel so good to have an actual grown up career. Not at all like when I was 18-years-old and had to make a mad run to the timeclock at Mervyn's to clock in before 9:07 or I went on the "Naughty List." Oh! Wait! It IS like that! It is exactly like that! Too bad Mervyn's went bankrupt. At least I got a shopping discount there!

So Katie... If you call me tomorrow, be sure to whisper so I don't feel the urge to talk too loudly... "Library voices" and all, remember... I think if I get a fourth demerit, I have to give up my firstborn. And seeing as how I'm going through quite a bit to get my firstborn, I really don't want to have to give him or her up just yet! :-)


Kathy of the HavinsNest said...

I presume you are talking about my Katie. It's a trial being the mother of a bad influence.

lcharlton137 said...

I had a dream the other nite about WS and BCFH (that should probably read NIGHTMARE)! I was in some other working position there and got up to use the bathroom and BCFH started in on her leaving my desk too much and I responded with I'm not in the same position I was in before, I don't work for you anymore.

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