Well, I guess today is as good a day as any to start an actual blog site. I tend to have random pieces strewn about my desk, the computer, and various networking sites. I thought I'd compile everything here, as well as try to start blogging regularly. I did a lot of blogging over the past couple of years when I was going through all of my "craziness." Looking back at things that I'd written, I can definitely see the change in me. It's good to be able to go back and see how far I've come. With that in mind, I thought it would be a good idea to start blogging about my whole fostering to adopt journey.
The past four days or so have given me my first little taste of what a roller coaster ride this whole fostering to adopt thing is going to be. I found out last Friday that I was going to be a temporary respite provider for a 2-month-old baby girl whose foster family was going out of state. It was only supposed to be for 5 days, but it was going to be my first taste of having a little one in the house. I spent the weekend getting prepared. I lined up childcare (my mom and Melissa are going to be my lifesavers during this whole process!). I arranged the nursery. I started allowing myself to get really excited, only to get a message today that the judge had ordered that the baby and her siblings be permanently placed with a relative. Great news for the baby! Total letdown for me. :-(
I think this is good for me to experience though. It's a great reminder of how minute-to-minute foster care can be. It's a great reminder of the fact that I'm going to need to be constantly open to change and adaptable to whatever comes up. And it's a great reminder of the ultimate goal of foster care... to keep families together whenever possible.
I'll have plenty of opportunities to be there for the children who need me. Hopefully, I'll have the chance to give many little ones the love and security that they need while we figure out what is best for them in the long run. It's not about my wants, it's about their needs. And when I am finally able to adopt, it will just be an added blessing. I guess I'm just back to waiting for Foster Baby #1, trying to remind myself to stay flexible, and remembering that everything happens for a reason. We might not always know what that reason is right away, but we can always see it in hindsight. So until then... I guess I'll just wait and see what tomorrow has in store!
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