Changed...

One year ago today, this chunky little guy came through my door!  (So happy I can share his picture now!!! :-)

I can't believe how much he's changed.

I can't believe how much he's changed me.

I never thought I would take a baby that young.  I'm a single, full-time working mom.  I like sleep!  I need sleep, and newborns are definitely not conducive to sleep.  But when I got the late night call about a 2-month-old baby boy, I was shocked to hear the words, "Sure!  Let me throw on a bra, and you can bring him on over!" come out of my mouth.  I wasn't so much shocked that I said something about my undergarments to a caseworker who I'd never met before as I was that I had just agreed to kiss away my slumber for the next several months without batting an eye!  I couldn't believe I'd said "yes," but I'm a firm believer in going with my initial instincts when it comes to taking placements (a lesson I learned the hard way).  If "yes" came out of my mouth, who was I to question it?  :-)

Over the next several months, that little Monkey put me through the wringer!  Reflux, problems with his airway, aspirating his feeds and choking, two full months of moderate to severe hearing loss...  That boy definitely gave me a run for my money!  But when we finally got his reflux under control, all of the other issues started fading away, and my super-happy, super-goofy, super-lovey Mama's boy emerged.

This little guy has brought me more joy, laughs, smiles, and love in the past year than I ever thought possible.  He's brought out a fierce "Mama love" inside of me that I haven't had for a while.  The kind of love that makes you sneak into the nursery to watch your baby sleep...  The kind of love that has your heart smiling when you hear his baby jabbers over the monitor...  The kind of love that has you scooping him up and showering him with Mama kisses just because you can't get enough of those cheeks...  The kind of love that has you taking thousands of photos and forcing your friends to look at each and every one of them while you give the play-by-play commentary of what was happening while they were being taken because you just know that everyone loves your baby as much as you do...  :-)  The kind of love that makes your heart ache at the thought of losing them...

One year ago today, God gave me a little Chunky Monkey.  One year ago today, I was changed.