Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Gonna Have a "Sister Mom"

So what do long-time foster/adopt moms do when their houses are at or near legal capacity, but there are more siblings from the same group who need a forever home and to maintain relationships with their biological siblings?

We find ourselves a sister mom, of course!!!  (kind of like a sister wife - from a distance - and without having to share the oogy husband...)

After spending all day in court for Bug's TPR hearing last month, I got in my car and grabbed my phone to make my "update" phone calls, only to discover that I had four missed calls from one of my foster mama BFFs.  I immediately knew that something was up because she wouldn't have called that many times in a row knowing that I was in court that day unless it was important.  Turned out, she had a proposition for me...

The biological sister of her newly-adopted sons needed an adoption-motivated home.  My friend was at capacity and couldn't take her, so she was doing the only thing she knew how in order to keep this little girl she loves safe.  She called me and asked me to consider becoming this little girl's forever mom.  Because we're friends, we would be able to keep the children in contact with each other as they grow up.  We'll both have information regarding all of the children - medical histories, behavioral issues, things that arise about their backgrounds, etc. that might be able to help the other mom in the future.  She loves this little girl so much, and desperately wants to find a good, stable, forever home for her, and immediately thought of me.

I will admit, I was very torn in the beginning.  I had literally just got out of court where I learned that I would be able to adopt Bug.  I hadn't even had a chance to process that or to celebrate that my baby boy would be mine forever!  I was kind of looking forward to a CPS-free existence for a little while, but over the course of the next few days, I simply couldn't get that little girl out of my head.  I had lots of reasons to say "no" - "How on earth am I going to be in three different places at once with three different children on three different schedules?"  "Is it fair to Bug and Monkey to bring in a third child when things are finally calming down?"  "Is it fair to this little girl to bring her into a busy home with young children when she so desperately needs undivided attention of her own?"

After talking it through with my parents and sister, we had all reached the same conclusion.  How can we say "no" when we all have so much love to give her?  Sure, it's going to take all of us to make sure all of the kids get to where they need to be when they need to be there, but we're already doing that!  We sat down with our day planners and worked out a gameplan.  We're going to make this work!

So on Friday, I'm making the three-hour drive to meet the little girl who just might be my new daughter!  I'll be spending the day with her and her caseworker and probably meeting with her counselor and foster parents.  Please pray that it goes well and that if everyone agrees that this is a good fit for her, we can have a smooth transition.

As hesitant as I was after that initial call from my soon-to-be sister mom, I am thrilled silly and so blessed that I have this chance to be exactly what this little girl needs.  Her mom...  Forever.


Duck Mommy said...

This is SO cool!!! I love the idea of sister mom's!

Oh, and I'm totally stealing your line about being a comment junkie! ;-)

Phoenix said...

I am so glad you finally get to meet her!!

Kathy of the HavinsNest said...

So glad y'all finally get to meet!

Diane said...

Wow! This is awesome. How old is this little girl? How close are you to your sister mom? I hope all goes smoothly!

Deb said...

LOVE this and am so excited for you, your boys and this precious little girl.

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