Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Ode to My Reduction - One Day to Go

The second day after Boob Job
I say farewell to thee…

… Bye-bye extra “hands” …

(Have you ever found yourself in need of an extra helping-hand? Maybe you’ve got your hands full, but you need to make a photocopy or send a fax. “Regular” people have to put down the items in their hands before they can carry on with their work. The graciously-endowed simply use an extra “hand” to press the little green button. Many employers would never admit it, but I believe they prefer to hire “big girls” due to our increased productivity.


The “extra hands” thing brings me to another common problem… Potlucks… For most people, potluck dinners involve much skill… Precariously balancing separate dinner and dessert plates, silverware, and a drink all the while attempting to find a way to carry everything back to the chair you’ll be eating in… No table, mind you… Just a chair. For most people, potlucks present a serious problem… Not so for the bountifully-busted! We can easily carry a plate in each hand, and a drink tucked into our cleavage. No table? No problem! We just rest our plates right there on our chests, and have a grand old time. No hassle, no mess, no problem!)

And built-in cushions made of boobies.

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