(Also to be performed to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas,but sing slowly, and reverently… Think violins and harps…)
On the first day after Boob Job
I say farewell to thee…
… Built-in cushions made of boobies…
(Have you ever gotten out of bed in the middle of the dark night, misjudged where you were, walked straight into the wall and broke your nose? Have you ever done a set of pushups, have your arms give out at the end, and fall down cracking your chin on the floor?
Well, I haven’t!!! I’ve been blessed to have breasts large enough to break the impact well before my nose or chin become endangered.
I suppose I’ll just have to get used to facial injuries. And I should probably learn how to swim while I’m at it.)