Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Am I the Freak of Foster Care Land?

My little Monkey Man went home to live with his daddy six months ago, but last night as I snuggled and sang to my little guy before bedtime just as I have four nights a week for the past six months, I smiled to myself and thought how lucky I am to still be "Mama" to my baby boy.

After Monkey was asleep in his room, I switched gears and started going over this week's schedule.  Monkey here Sunday through Thursday morning...  Booger Bear's 4th birthday on Thursday...  Booger and Banana over on Friday...  Booger spending the weekend with me...  Booger to the zoo on Saturday...  Monkey back on Sunday...  And then it occurred to me...  How many foster parents can say, "I spend every day of the week with one or more of my former foster children?"

When I talk about the relationships that I have with my kiddos and their families, most people tend to stare at me jaws dropped and eyes wide in a way that makes me thing I must have sprouted a third eyeball in the middle of my forehead or something.  Is it really that unheard of to have great relationships with your kids and their families after foster care, or am I just the freak of Foster Care Land?

It's all good though.  If being able to grow my family in ways I never imagined makes me a freak, I'll gladly take it!  I can only pray that I continue to hit the jackpot with my kids' families and that whatever I am doing to build these lasting relationships continues with any new children who come into my life.  This is how foster care should look!  Because children can never have too many people who love them...


Dena said...

I think it's great that you have such a positive relationship with the kids parents. As foster parents, we are supposed to be role models and teach our kids the right things in life and you are doing that beautifully. I so far have not had a chance to build a relationship with Baby Girl's because our circumstances are different, but under other circumstances I would certainly consider it because it is in the best interest of the child. Keep up the great work!

The Campbell's Journey said...

You are right, your journey should be EXACTLY how foster care should look like! Out of 19 placements (1 we adopted, 3 still in my care) I have never had a family be reunified. 2 sibling groups have gone on to other foster homes (for different reasons), one placement was not granted shelter status and she went back home the next day, and the other 10 went to family members. I am still in contact with our very first placement's grandparents who are currently trying to adopt him. Unfortunately we have not seen him since we took him to his current home two years ago. If they lived 4 hours closer I think we would still see him but that's not the case.

I think it is wonderful that you have maintained a relationship with these families. They know they have someone they can trust and depend on. In return you know that your "babies" are safe and taken care of.

Last Mom said...

I love reading about your relationship with your babies and their families! You are right - it's what foster care SHOULD look like!

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

I think it is awesome!!! Hard though when you have moved away from your bio moms. But letters and pictures for us right now is good too. We do plan on visiting when we can.

I think it is awesome if you can!!

Anne said...

So true!! More Foster Parents should be like you :)

GamerMickey said...

Absolutely!!! The blessing of kids!

Kylee said...

That's awesome you have such neat relationships with so many of them!! There are so many of my foster sibs i haven't heard from since they left our home 5 or 10 years ago. What I would give to just hear from them briefly. Sometimes, though, it is maybe best not knowing.
Enjoy those kids!

FosterMumNZ said...

Hi Tammy, I have never commented before but just wanted to let you know that I am a freak of foster care land too. I have even had social workers ring me looking for parents of child who are no longer in my care (and of course I knew where they were). I have just seen my 3rd foster baby return home and so far have managed to stay in contact with all of them. We have weekends where everyone comes and stays and I have not only stayed in contact with the children and their bio parents but also siblings, cousins, grandparents, uncles, aunties and the other day my former foster teenager’s psychologist was sitting on my couch having a cup of tea and she fixed my TV. This fostering thing really has a mind of its own but I really couldn't be happier. Most people don’t understand why I would want to stay in contact with my foster children but for me it just feels natural. I have made some really good friends and seeing my babies grow up is something I treasure. I love the way all my foster children and their families accept new foster children in my care into their lives it really is beautiful.
P.s I think your blog is amazing!!

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