Enough is Enough Already!!!

So I have a question to all of you seasoned foster parents out there... Is it ever okay for a foster parent to say, "Enough is enough!!! Something's got to give, and it's not gonna be us!!!"?

You see, I've had the Booger Bear since May and Angel since June. Although they are mother and son, because they came into care at different times, it's opened up a whole new can of worms as far as people involved in their case(s) and the number of monthly appointments that we have and strange people coming into our home. On any given day, we have AT LEAST two CPS-related appointments (ex. therapy, medication monitoring, visitations, parenting classes, training classes, home visits with case workers, CASAs for each child, attorneys, court dates, etc.). We try to cram in all of the mandatory doctor and dental visits as well as our routine visits that we would have regardless of CPS on the two days a week that we don't have standing appointments. My 13-month-old has his own dayplanner, for crying out loud!!! AND IT'S FULL!!!

It's bad enough that these kids are living in foster care. Why on earth does the system make it WORSE by forcing them to have no life outside of CPS?!? One case worker even had the nerve to ask why Angel isn't involved in any extra-curricular activities! Another asked when she was going to start job-hunting! SERIOUSLY!??! I asked them when, exactly, they proposed we schedule something seeing as how Angel has appointments EVERY FREAKING DAY for those people! You expect her to WORK too?!? You're all freaking crazy.

As you can tell, I'm a wee bit fed up. I put my foot down as far as scheduling things during the school day. Angel IS NOT missing school unless absolutely necessary for her HEALTH. PERIOD. Fortunately, she has a fairly short school day, so we have been able to schedule things later in the afternoon. UNfortunately, I am a single parent trying to work full-time, and having to take off work constantly is going to get really old for my boss and co-workers. I try to make everyone schedule evening visits, but it doesn't usually work out that way. The CASAs have been great about coming in the evenings, and luckily we have case aids who are able to transport the kids to and from their weekly visitations. Everyone else though, is making it rather difficult.

At what point (if ever) is it okay for me to say, "No, I CAN'T take off work to do a home visit at 2:00!" or "I'm sorry, but Angel is going to take gymnastics and her classes are every Tuesday and Thursday evening from 5:30-7. We're busy. You can come at 7:30 or on Friday night at 6."? Can I ask a therapist who can't work around our schedule for a referral to another therapist who CAN, or do we just have to suck it up, miss work, and potentially get fired all because she was "really busy this month."? I'LL SHOW YOU "REALLY BUSY" LADY!!!"

I think I need better meds, or maybe MY OWN therapist. But I don't DARE schedule an appointment for MYSELF! I'd end up having to miss it anyway due to a surprise visit from a case worker or a last minute mandatory training session. Fun times! How on earth do people do this with FIVE foster kids?!? It's definitely a full-time job and seems to require a lot more patience than I have at the moment. Fortunately, I'm a wee bit OCD and an organizational freak, so I'm getting a pretty good system going as far as all of the paperwork goes. UGH!

HELP!!!

A Call from the Principal's Office

Source

The call every parent dreads... You look at the caller ID, and it's your child's school. GREAT! Guess we're in for another trip to the doctor!

I answer hestitantly, "Hello?"

The voice at the other end says, "Hi Tammy. It's ******* (the principal). I just wanted to call and let you know that your child got bitten again."

Me, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? That's the second day in a row!"

Principal, "I know... Well, apparently your child is a little bit of a bully, and it seems the other kids are retaliating."

My 16-year-old you might assume? Nope! The 1-year-old!!! It seems we'll be having more lessons on the importance of sharing and keeping our hands to ourselves.

The Booger Bear is the "baby" in his class, and has "Little Man's Syndrome." What he lacks in age, size, and motor skills he makes up for in attitude. He wants WHAT he wants WHEN he wants it, whether another child is playing with it or not. His teacher said that he's been known to spot a toy that another child is playing with from across the room, go into his "Super-Aerodynamic Baby Crawler Mode," race across the room with his head low to the ground in order to pick up speed (I do believe TACKLING was involved on more than one occassion), and rip the toy out of the hands of the unsuspecting child.

The morning after the latest "biting incident," I was saying goodbye to the Booger and told him sternly, "Now I don't want to see another incident report today, Buddy. You need to SHARE and BE NICE." One of the other mom's overheard me and lamented, "Oh no!!! It was J?!?" Apparently, it was HER son who's been biting him every day. I assured her not to worry about it because the Booger started it and needs to learn to share. If he gets bitten enough, he'll learn eventually.

We ended up finding the "good" in the situation. At least the kids seem to be best friends because they're always together. Hitting and biting and toy-stealing aside... :-)

Quote of the Day

I thought I'd start putting some of my favorite quotes on here too... My absolute favorite, and the one that is closest to my heart is...

I found this quote the year after Bipolar Girl became medicated and started to turn things around. It seems like I had spent most of my adult life chasing things that I thought would make me happy, but everything always seemed just out of reach.

It wasn't until my year of getting myself together that I finally realized that I needed to stop focusing on what I didn't have, and start focusing on all of the good things in my life. Amazingly, within a year of me deciding to stop chasing butterflies, they found me! Their names are "Angel" and "Booger Bear", and I've never been happier.

A Boy & His Bubble Bath

Totally secure in his masculinity, the Booger Bear enjoys a good bubble bath every now and then... Granted, he spends more time INHALING the bubbles than he does relaxing in them, but he seems to enjoy himself. :-)

The Flu, a Water Leak, and a Birthday Boy

Ladies and gentlemen... We have a 1-year-old!!!

The couple of weeks leading up to the Booger Bear's birthday were rather hectic ones. I ended up having to take Angel (the Booger's mama) to the doctor for what turned out to be a really bad sinus infection. We left with a Z-pack... and another little gift that kept on giving for the next two weeks... Influenza A!!! Fun times!!!

We didn't realize at the time that Angel had the flu. She'd be fine for a couple of hours, and then suddenly turn sheet white and look like she was going to pass out. This went on for about 5 days, but her fever never went over 99.5 so we just thought she was still fighting the sinus infection. It wasn't until the dreaded call from the Booger's daycare on Monday morning and another trip to the urgent care center that we discovered the "gift" that we had received on the previous visit.

It's amazing what a difference one week can make. When Angel I went the previous week, there were four other people in the waiting room. The following Monday when I walked in with the Booger, it was standing room only! Folding chairs had been set up, and everyone was wearing masks! Not exactly a confidence-booster... But I figured by that point, the damage had already been done. Booger had a 102 fever. He'd be the one getting everyone else sick at that point.

After a 2 hour wait, we finally made it in to see the doctor. They took one look at him, did a flu culture (the whole q-tip up the nose thing), and sent him back for a chest x-ray because his breathing didn't sound right. Fortunately, no pneumonia... Unfortunately, he tested positive for Influenza A. They prescribed Tamiflu, but there was none to be found at any of the 5 pharmacies that I tried. The pharmacists and doctors all said that would probably be the case seeing as how everyone and their dogs all have the flu right now. I was told to pump him full of all of the fluids he would take and alternate Motrin and Tylenol and wait it out.

The poor baby was just miserable. He had no energy at all. He just laid on me and quietly whined for days. Angel swore she was going to try to avoid him because she was starting to feel better, but how do you avoid an adorable little baby who just wants hugs because he's sick? By Tuesday, Angel and I were both sick too! Fortunately, Angel wasn't nearly as bad as she had been the previous week, but I had to try to take care of all of us when I felt like total doo-doo myself.

To make matter worse, I woke up Tuesday morning to get the Booger his bottle, and walked right into about an inch of standing water! It was everywhere!!! My bedroom, my closet, the living room, the kitchen... Apparently a pipe going to the hot water heater busted overnight, and I now had a lake in my house. It took apartment maintenance, two plumbers, a carpet guy, and 6 separate trips in a week's time to get the carpet back to normal! Unfortunately, we still have a nice little cut-out hole in the drywall where they had to cut through in order to get to the broken pipe. But at least the baby was so puny he had no desire to get down and play on the floor.

The rest of the week went on about the same way. The Booger's fever would go away for most of the day, but then would spike back up right before bedtime, so daycare the next day wasn't an option. By Thursday, we were BOTH still sick, so I had to go and make the executive decision to cancel his big birthday party that was scheduled for Saturday. :-( I didn't want to, but there was no way I was going to be up to setting up, organizing, and refereeing all of the families the way I felt. We had gotten permission to include Angel's family and Daddy's family as well as my family and a few close friends, so it was going to be interesting to say the least on a good day. Having to referee when I felt like passing out at any given moment wasn't going to happen. And the baby was still having meltdown moments so he wouldn't have been his usual happy self. It made no sense to torture the poor baby (or myself for that matter), so no big party.

By Saturday night, the baby was starting to feel quite a bit better. A couple of people stopped by to bring him presents, and Angel and I decided to throw him a little spur-of-the-moment party on Sunday (his actual birthday) at the house. We had the family come over, decorated with the luau decorations we were going to use at the big party, bought ("bee-yoons") balloons, and even braved up and baked a two-layer, marble cake with chocolate frosting! Angel and I had a good time planning the last-minute party, and the Booger seemed to have a really good time. I felt like warmed-over poo by the end of the day, and the house is STILL a disaster, but I'm really glad we decided to do it. It was his 1st birthday after all! You can't miss your 1st birthday!

Opening a present the night before his birthday. (Well, crawling on top of the box anyway...)

The Booger in his new ball pit that Mommy (Angel) and Mimi (me) bought for him.

After a long day, cake, ice cream, and even a little pizza, the Booger was worn out!



The poor kid sawed logs for two straight hours (and he NEVER snores!). He had a really good time though, so I don't regret it one bit.

(I tried getting a little creative with the pictures. No full faces... Just lots of fun...)