My first clue to my complete and total cluelessness was when I started receiving text messages from my new daughter. "Cn yoou plz get meh a hmbrger?" My immediate thought was, "Oh, this poor girl! She can't even spell! How did she ever make it to high school?!?" (Actually, my first thought was, "Huh?" but after some deciphering, I figured it out.) After frantically wondering where I could find a tutor for her during the summer, she assured me that she did know how to spell. She even pulled out some of her previous year's schoolwork to prove it. Her excuse for the lousy spelling? "I like to be different."
After several months of translating teen text, it became second nature to me. I stopped flinching at every "meh" and "yoou." After a while, I barely even noticed it. It still drives my BFF crazy though. Katie and Angel have a love/hate relationship. Katie is constantly harping at Angel for her lousy grammar, and Angel is constantly thinking of new and even more
Just when I finally grew accustomed to Angel's bizarre spelling habits she joined Facebook, and her "status updates" confused the heck out of me. I can't remember them verbatim, but I do remember responding, "Child, I don't know what the heck you just said, but it doesn't sound very appropriate for someone your age. It doesn't even sound legal! I'm just gonna say, 'no, ma'am!' and leave it at that." She laughed that they were song lyrics. That's all fine and dandy, my dear. I'm all for promoting the Arts. But you don't see me setting my status updates to the lyrics of "Baby Got Back" or that "I Touch Myself" song that they used to play years ago. NOT APPROPRIATE!!! Even MySpace has a default mood of "crunk." WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!? I've been so confused.