After two full days of unsuccessfully trying to keep these two separated, I had finally had enough.
"Cat??? Why'd she do this to you???"
Yep... That's right. I lured the cat to the other side of the baby gate with food and water, and I SHUT IT!
"I feel ya, man... This really stinks."
Before anyone goes and gets a panty wedgie because I locked the cat in what appears to be a small space with no litter box, rest assured that darned cat had free run of the entire upstairs if he so wished.
"Don't worry, man! I'll bust you outta here!!!"
It appears, instead, that my cat is some sort of masochist as all he wanted in the world was get out of there and back into the living room where he would no doubt be pulled around by his tail again. This would result in him beating Monkey over the head with his paws, resulting in a shocked 10-month-old whose feelings then get hurt because "Cat" actually turned on him. I swear, these two have a truly toxic, co-dependent relationship. ;-)