Today was supposed to be that day for Bug and me...
When I first learned that Bug's adoption wouldn't be occurring today due to typical problems with red tape and paperwork, I was heartbroken. I have been a foster parent for five years. I have loved children with everything I had and let them go. I have suffered loss. I have mourned empty arms where my little ones should have been after they left my home. I've been a mom for five years, but not one of my children is legally "mine." I had myself a nice little pity party upon turning the calendar to November, seeing "Adoption Day" circled in red, and knowing that I would have to continue waiting to be a "forever mom" a little bit longer.
That's when it hit me like a tons of bricks. I am a "forever mom!"
Booger Bear not been "mine" for a year. Heaven is everything and more that I ever could have asked for in a daughter. I have absolutely no doubt that Booger Bear was brought to me because the girl who would later become his mommy was meant to be the forever daughter of my heart. She's a grown woman now... a mother herself... and I am so very thankful that she is a permanent part of my life. There's no piece of paper telling us that it's "forever" - just a bond and the love that we know is there.
Monkey who has been my whole world since he was two months old. This little guy has brought me more joy, laughter, smiles, and love in the past two and a half years than I ever thought possible. He has brought out a fierce "Mama love" inside of me that I never knew I could have. His father and I work hard to give him the most normal and loving life possible, and I challenge anyone to ever tell him that I am not his "forever" Mommy. I am the only Mommy he knows. I am the Mommy who has kissed every hurt, snuggled before every bedtime, and put his favorite toys in Time-Out when he starts pitching fits because they won't do what he wants them to do. There is no piece of paper telling us that it's "forever" - just a mutual understanding between his father and me and a shared love for an amazing little boy who needs us both. I am most definitely his "forever" Mommy, and for that I am eternally blessed.
Bug... He's my 14-month-old bundle of daredevil stubbornness with the most amazing smile and huge hazel eyes that you've ever seen. This little one will soon be my only legal "forever," when his adoption is finalized (hopefully) before the new year, but he has been my forever son since I opened the door last December to a tiny barely 10-pound two-month-old with an "old soul" face. He is the one who's going to give me a heart attack before the age of 40 due to his "have no fear" attitude and fierce determination to accomplish whatever task he is attempting at the moment. This little Bug has a firm grip on my heart, and I am so thankful that he is going to be my first legal "forever."
So on this National Adoption Day, am reminded in the best of ways that I am a "forever mom!" I might not have a signed piece of paper declaring that by a judge, but I have a blonde-haired Bug sawing logs in his crib, a laughing Monkey hugging my leg and asking "You want we sing 'Jesus Loves Me,' Mommy?" and an email from my amazing daughter just checking in with me today. I am blessed!
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Please check out the other foster/adoptive parents who have contributed to the National Adoption Awareness Month Blog Tour and Giveaway by clicking the photo above!