Friday, August 19, 2011

Self Defense and Militants and Scabies, Oh My!!!

Last Saturday was my annual "Emergency Behavior Intervention" training class.  You know the one...  Where we get to learn all about how to "remain calm" (a phrase which I believe at final count was used 34,273 times throughout the day) as our kids go crazy and pose an "imminent physical danger to themselves or others." 

(While probably very effective, this is NOT an approved method of escape when it comes to your child in CPS care. ;-)

This is my 4th year to take this required class that has absolutely NOTHING to do with me or my foster children seeing as how I only foster infants and toddlers.  While I will admit that Monkey is a "big boy," he is also 5 months old.  I think I can pretty much handle anything he's willing to throw my way.  ;-)  It is a required class, nonetheless, so I dutifully sat my happy butt down and was a model student all day long.

Well, that statement might not be entirely accurate. 
I met this awesome couple in my PRIDE classes when I first started fostering three years ago (They are actually the couple who had my Immobile Munchkin and her big sister when Munchkin left my house.).  Over the years, any time this mom and I get together we tend to be trouble.  Not the "class clown, acting out" kind of trouble (well, except for that one year when we decided to dance when we were practicing our therapeutic holds ;-), but the "extremely vocal about our experiences in dealing with CPS workers over the years" kind of trouble.  Most instructors don't like us much by the end of the class.  Our trainer that day started calling us "The Militants."  I, personally, think she was exaggerating.  I didn't think we were that bad!

You see, the longer you foster and the more experience you gain, the more you want to share your experiences with people who are just starting out.  I know that I wish some of the more experienced couples had spoken up and told stories during my initial training.  It has taken me three years of learning the hard way to know what I know now.  The horror stories or "straight talk" would never have scared me away from fostering, but it would have been nice to go into foster with my "eyes wide open" so to speak.  So we tend to relay our experiences when they pertain to whatever happens to come up during training...  I think that I was a little kinder than usual because at that point, I had only just begun my "CPS Week from the Underworld."  My dear friend, on the other hand, has be dealing with some rather interesting things lately.

My personal favorite was after I had relayed my story about Monkey's surprise 4-hour visitation, and she replied with, "Oh, girl...  That's nothing!"  She then proceeded to tell me a story about recently receiving a phone call from the caseworker after her kids' visit with their bio mom saying something along the lines of, "Um...  We're going to need you and the kids to go get tested for scabies."  Yep.  You read that correctly.  SCABIES!!!  They are all negative, by the way, but I can pretty much guarantee that was probably the most mortifying doctor visit she has ever had. ;-)

"Self Defense and Militants and Scabies, Oh My!!!"
... And so are the days of our lives in Foster/Adopt Land ...
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