(While probably very effective, this is NOT an approved method of escape when it comes to your child in CPS care. ;-)
My personal favorite was after I had relayed my story about Monkey's surprise 4-hour visitation, and she replied with, "Oh, girl... That's nothing!" She then proceeded to tell me a story about recently receiving a phone call from the caseworker after her kids' visit with their bio mom saying something along the lines of, "Um... We're going to need you and the kids to go get tested for scabies." Yep. You read that correctly. SCABIES!!! They are all negative, by the way, but I can pretty much guarantee that was probably the most mortifying doctor visit she has ever had. ;-)
"Self Defense and Militants and Scabies, Oh My!!!"
... And so are the days of our lives in Foster/Adopt Land ...