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Mimi asked me to contribute to this guest post by writing about the struggles that
come with aging out of foster care and how supportive adults can help. “Aging
out” refers to youth leaving foster care
without achieving permanency through reunification with their birth family or
adoption. Here’s what I’ve got:
First, put
yourself in the shoes of foster care alumni:
Think about
all of the resources and support you gained from your parents and family
after “becoming an adult” at age 18 and transitioning to adulthood. Did it
include:
§ Financial
support for college or post-secondary education?
§ A place to
continue to call home while starting your first job or on college breaks?
§ Independent
living skills on how to cook, rent an apartment, or purchase a car?
§ Hand-me-down
furnishings and supplies for your first apartment?
§ Health
insurance?
§ Someone to
call in an emergency or for advice?
§ A place to
go for holidays?
§ A support
system for the challenges and the joys that naturally come with living life?
Foster youth
who age out of care do not have families to provide any of these resources and
supports. We
must rely instead on ourselves, whatever networks of support we’ve managed to
create, and the meager resources provided by the foster care system prior to
aging out. As a 21 year old navigating the challenges that come with young
adulthood, I continue realizing more and more just how much of a loss it is to
age out without a family for all of the reasons listed above.
Unfortunately,
the lack of material resources is often the least of a foster care alum’s
worries. Consider that emotionally, most foster youth have a strong
background of trauma, abuse, neglect, abandonment, and instability. The inner
world of a foster youth can be even more tumultuous than the outer world!
What are the
outcomes when you combine a challenging background with a lack of
support? Not surprisingly, the results are discouraging:
§ Less than
half of foster youth graduate high school, and only around 2-3% earn a college
degree.
§ 25% become
homeless within two years of aging out
§ 25% become
incarcerated*
How can I
help?
The good
news is that ordinary people can make a difference for foster youth and those
who have aged out!
§ Listen to foster
youth tell their stories. Asking good questions and listening are so underappreciated. If you know someone
personally who has aged out of foster care, ask about his or her experiences and how having aged out is
impacting life now. Ask how you can specifically be supportive.
§ Get
involved.
·
Ultimately, the best way to help foster youth is to help them
achieve permanent connections with loving families. Adopt or support the
adoption of waiting children in foster care. Adopt US Kids and the Dave Thomas
Foundation for Adoption are good places to start.
·
You can also support foster youth who have already aged out
of care, perhaps through Foster Care
to Success
or The Camellia Network. Both
organizations work to provide encouragement as well as material resources to
youth who have aged out.
·
If you are able to connect with a former foster youth in your
area, consider how you can step in
to meet some of the needs normally addressed by a family. Something as simple
as spending an hour teaching a young adult about basic money management or how
to apply for educational scholarships can make a huge difference in creating
positive outcomes!
§ Don’t be
afraid. Foster care carries a lot of stigma, but like all people, foster youth need
love and support and will do best when they receive them.
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