Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Big Decision

I'm a kid magnet. For some reason, kids are drawn to me like I have candy popping out of my pores. I'm the person who lost children approach in the store for help finding their parents. At 33-years-old, I still sit at the kids' table during family holidays because the kids are glued to my side. I've taught PE, tutored, coached gymnastics, volunteered to work with youth and children's groups at church, and worked summer day care and after school care at the YMCA. Luckily for me, I love the kids just as much as they love me.

For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to have a whole litter of kids of my own. But for me, my idea of "my own" kids has always been a houseful of children I've adopted. You see, there are these things called "pregnancy" and "childbirth" and "breastfeeding" ...and these things have never appealled to me one bit! I think God knew what he was doing when he afflicted me with endometriosis and cysts the size of baseballs that resulted in my having a hysterectomy at the age of 30. I don't think I'd make a very pleasant pregnant person. Having some little parasite sucking the life out of me for nine months, having to push the squirming creature out of my hoo-ha, and THEN allowing it to chew on my ta-ta's for months after that... I THINK NOT! Just hand it over after it's out, and I'll take it from there. I'll make an AMAZING mom... I would NOT make a good pregnant person.

So after years of soul-searching, hours of prayer, and many lists of pros and cons, I've decided to become a foster parent. I've always shied away from fostering in the past. My main fear is that I would become too attached and something would happen that would result in having a child taken away from me after years of being their "mom." But this year, my mindset has begun shifting from "this child is mine" to "I can help this child for as long as they need me." Yes, I will be heartbroken after a child leaves my home, especially if they've been with me for years... But at least I'll know that I made a difference in their lives while I had them, and as their foster mom, I'll get the first chance to officially adopt them as they become eligible. It looks like I'll have my litter of kids after all!

So today, the journey begins! I go to my first foster/adopt meeting tonight! Wish me luck as I go through the process, and don't be surprised if I ask some of you to fill out reference forms for me. I'll be blogging throughout the whole process, so feel free to take the journey with me! I can't wait!!!

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